I am a professional poker player in my 20s living in the UK. I have moderate Chronic Fatigue Syndrome aka CFS.
I want to make sure that I am making good decisions regarding personal finance. There are a few unusual aspects of my work / life that mean a lot of the normal financial planning advice is not relevant, so I would appreciate people looking over this to check I am running this sensibly.
First, there are a few aspects of poker that I should mention:
1) income will vary wildly from year to year, more so than almost any other job. It is very likely I make between 25k and 75k in 2021. However it is also possible I barely breakeven, or that I win a big tournament for 6 or even 7 figures (this is extremely unlikely but definitely possible).
2) Poker income is tax free. I do not pay national insurance or any kind of tax on poker winnings (This is a century old HMRC rule).
3) I need to maintain a large float of liquid or semi liquid cash due to the swings of poker. I need to ensure that even if I lose money for a period I still can afford to play poker and cover living expenses. I also have money tied up in tournament tickets that take months or even years to realise the value of.
4) I play live and online poker, lifetime earnings from live and online are fairly similar.
Regarding my CFS:
1) I am not well enough to work a 9-5 job with a commute and likely will never be well enough to do that.
2) I am well enough to work a 9-5 job from home on good weeks, but have periods when I am ill and not able to work.
3) I have been rejected for disability benefits when I was more ill than I am now. People with CFS find it notoriously difficult to get claim any kind of disability benefits. I am not currently pursuing this.
4) I am not considered to be working by HMRC so I am not paying NI. IDK what impact this will have on my pension. I am extremely reluctant to pay voluntary contributions as it means locking up the value for 40+ years and I have no idea what pension changes will occur in my lifetime.
5) I am not mentally disabled, I have an invisible physical disability. Nobody I run into in live poker has any idea I am seriously disabled apart from a handful of close friends I disclosed it to.
Current plan:
1) My current pension plan is to invest as much as I can each year into stocks and shares ISAs, (LISAs and regular ISAs). I am investing exclusively in equity index tracker funds with the lowest fees I can find on Vanguard and AJ Bell. I am heavily weighted towards emerging market funds. I am fairly risk tolerant, if the investment drops 20% in a year then thats whatever, I am holding for the long term.
2) Because poker income is tax free, I could work part time at a 'real' job and the first £12500 would fall under the tax free allowance. I am yet to do this but it is definitely a bonus if I do work part time in the future. I think there might be some other ways I can take advantage of the fact that I am technically earning zero income, but nothing comes to mind. Any ideas?
3) I am assuming that I will get little to nothing from the government regarding disability help and pensions and I should just look after myself as far as I can.
4) It is possible that online poker kinda dies (or I just fall behind the curve) in my lifetime to the point that I can no longer beat it for a sufficient hourly to make it worthwhile. I assume I will play more live poker when this happens, as far as my disability permits.
5) I am hoping that due to cultural changes following corona that working from home becomes more widely accepted and if I wanted to I could pursue this in the future. Annoyingly I became ill during my degree and did not graduate (I was on track for a 2.1 from LSE) but I might be able to leverage poker experience somehow, especially in similar jobs in finance and gambling.
Apologies for the rambling, I realise this is a lengthy post.
Does this all make sense?
Is there anything else I should be working on?

The Book of Doom
Living the Dream
Intro
Story of a time traveller trapped in a world where everything is backwards.
I’ve possibly never had an original thought. Everything is already written. I’m just discovering. I’ve lived my life and been manipulated left right and centre.
I love everyone.
I think I’ve rarely been conscious. My friends say i day dream more than participate in thought.
I think I’ve mastered life though & people in power know & are following me.
My whole life is a lie.
The whole world is a stage.
From genocide, world war & Jesus.
I’ve lived life just letting life take me.
It feels real but none of it feels like my own.
I’m writing this in a mental hospital for my own sanity maybe this will help you if you have gone through an awakening
The population to resources is a shambles but with technology and everyone working together we could turn the world green :)
They’re going to implement change through a world war where we will have no choice but to work together.
I’ve pretty much lived life for my mother and father, followed them all my life. My next job could be at the Chatsworth house. Working for the Duke of Devonshire.
I was stressed working with my mum, she ran a catering business and my Gran has moved to Greece. Alls I did from 15-17 was play video games. Outdoors had got violent and territorial. Xbox multiplayer came out and the introverts stayed in.
I played a pc game called Visual Utopia. It was an mopg, 2D map with around 200 players. A turn based strategy game, like hunger games, chess, fort nite, RISK & C&C all in one. You landed with 50 soldiers in a unit & had to find a place to settle, find friends & create a kingdom to survive. I hated it and loved it at the same time.
At 17 I moved to Greece with intensions of staying or coming back after a summer like I did. I convinced Gay to come with me before hand, I went but he couldn’t because of his dad. He came over a month later though. Damon was on holiday there with lads from work, he’d already booked before the idea and said he’d stay when I came over. Damon stayed two months and Gay stayed 1 month. Gav came back and got a job in Livingstones. I came back five months later and my neighbour got me a job in Bar Centro working for Noah the next week. I said to my mum, give me a year I’ll be manager. I was supervisor trainee manager after six months, after a year, Noah offered me managers job and a shit salary so I turned it down. He took me on holiday, now I black out when I’m drunk and I remember nothing of the holiday but I have a memory of him threatening to kill me if the truth gets out.
I’ve spent many family holidays with my mum in Greece. Me & mum loved to travel. She also took me to Paris twice, which a fell in love with but I was most fascinated by Greece, their history & architecture. From what I heard, Greek Mafia had their hands in bit coin & some of the common folk had ancestors from Zimbabwe which when I asked them about they was shady and avoided the question, as if they we’re wondering how I knew.
Here my life pretty much begins. My parents split at the age of seven. My mum and dad worked in bars, Bradbury Club, which has been torn down now. My dad was all round handy man pretty much managing the place, my mum worked the bars.
The split was rough. Me and dad moved to a flat in Grangewood then to Brimington where my Nan lived. My dads mum.

• Contents :)

Chapter One - Age Seven
Chapter Two - Age Eight to Fourteen
Chapter Three - Age Fifteen to Sixteen.
Chapter Four - Age Seventeen
Chapter Five - Age Eighteen to Nineteen
Chapter Six - Age Twenty
Chapter Seven - Age Twenty One
Chapter Eight - Age Twenty Two to Twenty three
Theory of everything contents
The more wisdom and philosophy we attain the more heavenly life is
Wisdom is the truth known consciously
Truth is what has consistent value
We are all connected
We are the centre of the universe
We are an accumulation of our ancestors
Consciousness is the manifestation of interactions
We are a sum total of our experiences
Free will is a form of self control
Frustration is the door to perception
Hell is the burning desire for this moment to be different. Heaven is the present moment
Gratitude is the state of mastership
Everything is a phase
Good is to do love onto another; out of love for yourself, to make one love oneself. Evil is to inflict suffering on to another; out of hate for yourself, to make one hate oneself
We attract what we fear, we become what we hate
Unconditional love does not mean unconditional behaviour
Karma is when you don’t learn your lesson the same situation repeats until you accept your mistakes & make the changes.
The universe; inner and outer, is a spiral, what goes around comes back around
Change your mind, change the world around you
Our purpose is to express ourselves in order to understand ourselves and the universe
Alls life is is a story going back in time to understand creation
We are time travellers
Knowledge is power

• Chapter one. - Age seven

My dad was an all round handy man. He was a carpenter in his spare time to earn us extra cash. We loved building things together or, I loved copying him.
I met Tricky, Gay & Alan at Brimington Junior School. Me and Tricky lived on the same street. We became friends when two girls stole his shoe and I just happened to be there. We became very good friends. We loved playing with action figures & watching Dragon Ball Z. Tricky was a bit mardy, hated playing outdoors and hated PC but I loved playing Age of Empires at his. With Gay & Alan, we loved to play outdoors & have tea at each other’s houses, throughout life we have loved building things together. I joined cubs with Tricky & I went to karate with Tricky.
I also gained three step brothers from my mums side. Daniel, Mathew & Liam. My brothers always stuck up for me and I looked up to Daniel, he was awesome :) we all loved building things together, playing blind mans bluff & man hunt. We also played for our local Rugby team & was learning to box at the local boxing club. Me and Liam played in the same team at rugby, under 11’s because I was small enough to be a back and get away with it even though I was 13 :) Me and Mathew was too big for me at boxing and Liam was too small for me so I never really got a fair fight. Mathew also joined the choir at the Crooked Spire :)
My Gran was amazing to me. Now let’s get to her. :) She was a very faithful woman, adored by the church and had great piano skills. She was well respected and played piano for the church. She used to get tons of Christmas cards. I loved learning to play piano with her, well, a little. :) she used to always play classical music and we’d drink orange juice and elderflower which is still a favourite, thanks Nan :) We could never say the Lords name in vein, my dad and her friend are the one’s that got me and Tricky into cubs :)
A rough part of my life in general this was. It was rough on the streets, fighting and territorial gangs of kids. I had baby sitters from a young age. Even before the break up. After the break up. I had mark bottoms who came from my street. He was still a kid really. Probably only 15. He used to bully me and beat me up. I blocked out most of my memory but I remember being trapped under a table being hit with poles. After one night another one of the baby sitters kicked him out, I called him a ginger twat down the street then he chased me to the shops and tripped me over. Fun :)
In Boythorpe I wasn’t having much more luck at my mums either. We was just being kids, taunting shop keepers when one dragged me into the shop. They then grabbed an arm each and started beating me, lovely stuff :) The shop keepers fled the country.
So I had a rough family break up that resulted in police tearing us apart and I was being beaten left right and centre :)

• Chapter two - Age Eight to Thirteen.

By age thirteen I’d made lots of new friends and felt more comfortable. School was fun, the work was not. I’d took up ju jitsu as a hobby, I was a natural and stuck at it two years. :) I remember learning to draw in perspective, 3D in the younger years, creating a tin can alley to raise money for charity and having the dinner lady steal the earnings, lovely stuff. :) We’d play army with our imagination, we’d play pokemon cards & bulldog, the usual stuff kids we’re playing :)
I met a bunch of other more friends along the way, Ryan Turner, Luke Spyra, Damon Shaw, Daniel Stirling, Daniel Wood etc... I met Luke Spyra on the parks through Ryan Turner I met in school through girls we used to associate with. I fancied the girl that fancied Turner so I clung to Turner to learn everything I could from him. He’s still a close friend now. I met Stirling & Woody through school. I met Damon on the streets. He came from Manchester and his uncle was once the head of defence :)
I don’t remember doing any work during school because I basically didn’t do it. :) I was very lazy & unimaginative when it came to writing, I could never produce more than three lines worth of writing. I wasn’t made for school. I remember playing something maybe called the game of life where we all had to pretend to be adults and work out our expenses, what we could afford and couldn’t afford, that was fun :) I remember in nursery my favourite thing to do was build with the blocks & I built a small bird house out of wood for my nursery teacher when I left because me loved her :) 13-15 was the good life after that where we just played and paid no attention to school. I spent most of my time day dreaming not bothering other kids so I got away with doing nothing :) At 15 I said I’d get 3 GCSE’s just incase and I got myself. Maths, Science & Electronics. I had a passion for business :)
Around this age, we moved twice and my dad had met Jean, we spent some time on Somerset drive where we’d play football, be more building & fighting. Jean was wonderful to us, she studied at university, loved classical music and would help me out with my english gcse :) we loved camping holidays. Unfortunately Jean died of cancer, along side my dad’s best friend who was like an uncle to us and joined us on holidays. My Dad’s life wasn’t getting much better :(
If I wasn’t at school I was at work :) I got my first wage packet at about 9 years or younger, cleaning with my aunt for £2.50. I used to work paper rounds with my brother at eleven and at 13 I had my own paper round. At 15 I was skipping school to labour for my step father plastering :)
I learned for a while and owned a drum kit & a electric Guitar at this time. We’d also all love playing Warhammer & getting eight players linked up to two Xbox’s in my shed & having BBQ’s in the summers
I was accident prone too, by this time I had broken my arm three times & my fingers once. One time at band camp my arm actually snapped in half, I stood up and immediently snapped it back in to place after my older brother threw my over his shoulders :) Proud moment. Aha

• Chapter three. - Age Fifteen to Sixteen

At fifteen we we’re pressured into making life choices, internet is becoming more popular. Streets are getting rougher and Xbox bought an online console out with Halo. Things got weird. We all started playing VU. I was mardy because Xbox had taken everyone indoors. But at-least I had VU. It had took a grasp on me and I became addicted. I played along side Turner, Gav, Adam, Damon, Straw, Stirlin & Woody. This was a rare time the game got a good flow of players.
I felt like there was a strange secret kept from me. I remember at one point in my life not being able to know something because I’m ginger as a joke. I linked it to VU lol.
Everyone but me and stirlin stopped playing, Stirlin was the founder. I became obsessed. I thought it was the most simple intelligent fun game there was on offer & I still do aha.
There was a kingdom called Legacy, pretty much like our illuminati of the world, all the veterans together undefeated. Well, I was determined to defeat them aha :) I set out on my own on a lower world to them where the noobs roam, Mantrax. I found two other players and created a kingdom called Trio, The Three Musketeers. All for one, one for all was our motto :) we became legendary in three era’s on the lower world. I had gathered about 20 noobs and was leading them all, teaching them how to play at the same time. We dominated every Era. On the fourth Era we went to the top world, Fantasia, where LGC roam and we defeated them :) Each era, Armageddon is cast by the winning kingdom and we all reincarnate again.
I wrote guides on this game. I was bar shit passionate about it, I felt like I was mastering life and Visual Utopia at the same time. I’ve met from the game probably around 200 people from all around the world and been trolled by nearly all of them :D I never felt respected by LGC but I felt respected and loved by other players. They mostly loved me :)
This game took over my life and I became depressed though between 15 & 17 whilst playing I was also working.
At Fifteen I started working for a company with my mum, it was silver service, waiting on for the three masons, on a steam train & weddings at Eyam Hall where the Black Plague started.
I was also working with my step dad plastering. I was working with Daniel Straw’s step dad landscaping & mechanics. I was left to change a gear box by myself lol. I did some bricklaying with Scott, my mum’s neighbour and with Damon Shaw’s Uncle Chris a couple of times.
I was also at College part time as well as school doing a bricklaying & painting & decorating City & Guilds
By 17 came I was out of work & stuck in just college not satisfied with my earnings or the fact I failed my driving test five times so, I moved to Greece :)

• Chapter Four - Age 17

At seventeen Greece was the time of my life. Bars. Booze. Boobs. Beach parties & work :) I started at a bowling alley for a Greek Australian friend of my Nans with Damon. We had accommodation right on the beach next door to Mac Donald’s. Atleast 15 units of alcohol a night for 5 months :)
It was legendary. Gav came and by then we’d been kicked out of our first apartment and had an upgrade. It had a separate kitchen and bathroom with two massive bedrooms each. When Damon and Gav left, I had one of these to myself :)
I started smoking weed with my new manager and became supervisor of a night club and hosted poker nights in my kitchen after work.
I still believe Faliraki was the best place for British workers because of the community we all had. I spent the first two weeks with my Nan by myself, once Damon arrived it was all go :)
We lived off Mac Donald’s, Subway, chips & cheese or a Gyros, one meal a day aha We spent our days adventuring the island, sun bathing and go karting :)
I got back just before my eighteenth birthday. I caught up with everyone and the drinking continue’d :) Gav loved vodka and so did Straw. I got a job in Bar Centro and Gav got a job in Livingstones. I remember we would down half a bottle of vodka each before we went out. I never drank around town until my eighteenth birthday. It was drinking at parks, houses and the streets from fifteen up until now but I could get away with drinking in Brimington pubs before I was legal :)
I continue’d playing vu throughout this and we had now all started using Skype :)

• Chapter Five - Age Eighteen to Nineteen

I loved my job at Bar Centro. I was getting paid for a social life. Sunday BBQ’s became a thing. Unfortunately Noah was married and sleeping with a girl that had friend zoned me, even told me she wants someone like me but not me. I learnt about the affair and this caused problems at work in the end. I was close to Laura, I never let it effect work until about twelve months in. I was taken on holiday to a fake maga reunion, at one point they was posing as night club owners to Ultra Beat and introducing me as manager as if we had a club big enough lol. I remember very little of the holiday, it’s all a blur but I remember being by a pool at one point. They sent me home at night once so they could have fun with women. I remember Nick telling me in the car if his wife found out I’m dead and he doesn’t care who my dad’s are.
A few more months of working and I’m offered salary and managers job. I was expected to work 50 hours a week, clean, manage the cellar & bar for 200 a week plus ten cash. I turned it down and I didn’t leave quick enough so they put a ban on phones then drew lines around my phone to see if I move and when I moved it they sacked me or I walked out there and then.
Lauren Whittaker joined in mid game and was sleeping with me and Nick.
I quickly got myself a job at escapade where I met Joe Mosley, Kirk Bytheway & Daniel Drew who became friends for years. I had a short fling with Hannah sellars I knew from Daniel Straws sister. Town had an awesome gang of workers, we was a little community, we often merged up with other bar workers for parties at each other’s houses. Summer peaked I became less interested in work, more interested in women & having sex. I got sacked at escapade for not taking the job seriously and spending more time dancing than working before my trial ended. I had also picked up another job at Vesuvius, a factory. So I didn’t care.
I got another job in brand new bar in town. I was also offered a job to run the bar and take a % with Gary Gee. I turned it down because Gary Gee was very Un organised and I’d have had to do all the work to turn the bar around. It was a failure. He framed me for stealing a tenner then sacked me lol.
I’m 19-20 now and round about this I met Leanne Moore :)

• Chapter Six - Age Nineteen to Twenty One

Leanne knew Beck who was the sister of a girl I worked worked with. I was sleeping with Beck for a month before Leanne attached herself to me, we had sex in the night clubs, neither of them we’re happy when they found out I was sleeping with them both. I saw this as a way out and a start at a fresh life. I dropped Beck for Leanne and she became my everything. I was hopelessly in love. We lasted twelve to eighteen months on and off planning life and she wanted out in the end, I spent most of my time telling her to wake up and getting stressed at all the pressure she was putting on me.
I was made redundant at Vesuvius a few months in & I started working at Dominoes as a delivery driver with Luke Spyra as manager. Leanne has been going to university at Hull and I have been spending my time working full time and partying with Leanne in Hull. We loved each other too much to be apart, we went together like two peas in a pod, we was both dreamers and hard workers, very passionate people and we both clashed and argue’d a lot.
Her dad worked at Royal Mail and we decided it would be a good idea for me to get a job there. Me and her dad we’re pretty similar, both computer geeks & fiercely competitive. They used to call me stupid together and taunt me, her mum would stick up for me. They made me feel like family and bullied me at the same time
So I applied at Royal Mail a few times & got a job at Chesterfield, the head office of Royal Mail. I knew privatisation was coming and I was warned it was the worst office in the UK. I knew although we had broke up in the end I had made it, I had a job for life, I had unlimited possibility.
Leanne was inspiring though, she had come back from university and made a promotion in two jobs before we split
Leanne wanted to rush things, get married and have babies, I wanted to take my time and she couldn’t trust me, we was looking at houses to buy and I was walking a tightrope for her trying to keep her happy. I had to get a back bone and stopped having sex her at times, she gave me a black eye at one point and we just kept falling apart.
Gavin in the mean time had setup a business called Bespoke Bartenders with Rick. I was working and partying with them. I was working 50 + hours a week. I couldn’t keep my managers at work happy and my girl happy. I cheated. We ended. My managers told me to get out more so I went and slept with three girls and realised quickly it wasn’t the answer but my ego was back and I was a now a poser :)
I’m 21 now. :)

• Chapter Seven - Age Twenty One

Danny Swan came into the picture. He appeared at Gav’s once and we started drinking together. Danny Swan was the most popular in town who hung around with the rich kids & got all the girls. I couldn’t compete with them so I didn’t even try lol. I believed I was stupid and ugly. Always had trouble with women. Had issues with my hair & weight. We started drinking together every weekend, it was fun just dancing, smoking drinking and getting attention from girls.
I’ve always been constantly criticised & called stupid and ugly by friends. My step dad used to say I was gay and point at me saying look at him he’s thinking, he knows what you’re thinking, that stuck with me. Girls used to call me ugly and say it was because I was ginger. Lad mates would all call me stupid and put me down on everything I did, idea I had or what I owned, nothing was ever good enough. I have often been flabbergasted at everyone, noticed people’s insecurities stop them from being themselves. I’ve always felt like everyone expects us to prove something. I hate it.
I was being used by Danny for a good time and my car. I didn’t mind, I just found it strange his need to steal fifty p from me once. Danny rarely had a job and always wanted to go out. We started smoking weed. I was paying for most things but I didn’t mind because I was in with the popular kids.
Danny introduces me to Mat Wood, Dan Malloy & Tom Smith. May wood was a tattoo artist. Dan was the leader singer of a band & Tom had just slept with everyone in town. I knew about them all previously from Laura Dawes. They all loved making fun of me and wanted me around all the time. The single life had began. I slept with three girls and realised this wasn’t the answer. I was looking for something meaningful. I just set to live & have a good time minus the sex. I made lot’s of new friends & reunited with old friends. Life was simple until point. Everyone wanted a piece of me and wanted to know what I was doing. I’d always just yolo’ it. I’d probably met 50 new people in a year.
I was a man in demand. Me and Ricky had caught up again and he always wanted me round his. Ricky and his friends all worked and I had a lot of good to say about them. They looked to Ricky as the what would Ricky do kinda guy.
Tom Smith was depressed and I was a sucker that couldn’t say no so I was also catering to him and hanging around with him to keep him happy
I made time for everyone & everyone started getting weird around me. I started questioning everyone and everyone was calling me stupid.
I had changed & I wanted to find out what was going off.
I’m now 22 and it’s 2012 :)

• Chapter Eight - Age Twenty Two to Twenty Three

Danny introduces me to Mat Wood. He was very keen to give me advice and thought I was going through an awakening. He told me to concentrate on my breath. I was very angry at this point. I wanted to know why everyone was being shady around me at the same time I was trying to gain respect from everyone. This drove me made trying to get respect.
I was having trouble at work also. They noticed I had changed. I blamed them for the break up putting pressure on me to work too much. They would punish me every time I said no. I clicked on to their methods and started making them look stupid. The managers didn’t find it funny but all I wanted was respect. One postman said at a Christmas party I was the future of Royal Mail. People knew I knew something.
A year went by with all the stress from work and friends, I’d given up, I just wanted to settle down and find a woman. I was trying to say no to everyone. I wanted control of my life.
I’m 23 now and it’s 2012.
Mat Wood and Jaydee introduce me to zeitgeist. I become obsessed with it and watch it slowly. Watch a piece, meditate on it, concentrated on my breath and let the thoughts flow.
Suddenly bam. I had awoken. I had mastered life. All the dots connected in my life from past present to future. I was petrified I was going to destroy the world and everyone was out to get me for it. I was watching the whole world spiral around me from that point onwards.
I remember when my mind eclipsed I thought I was the last point in time.
This is my theory of everything :)

• Theory of everything :)

The secret to philosophy is, it is true if you believe it to be true. Philosophy is like taking the tomato and making tomato sauce. Wisdom is knowing it is a tomato. By these means, philosophy keeps getting closer to the tomato. We make purée then we make slices and eventually we find our tomato, wisdom. Basically all philosophy is bull**** around what could be true. Wisdom is the result of good philosophy, which stands the time until another cycle begins. Philosophy is the love of wisdom.
So for example, we look at a chair and can see it is a chair, wisdom, philosophy, we can see it is nails and wood. :)
Wisdom is the truth known consciously. Wisdom is basically what is with the times; what the crowd can agree upon, what has consistent value. As for philosophy, we wouldn’t pick an in coherent philosophy out of the air but, someone may have an experience that gives them a philosophy that is ahead of the times. It only works if we truly believe it. :)
So basically psychosis = differently sane. :)
Their’s layers to truth but everything is built on truth. Truth can have more than one answer but a limited amount of answers. Meaning it is possible to understand the universe. :)
We are unlimited awareness but what we are materialistically is limited so, in other words. Wisdom is limited. Philosophy is unlimited.
So therefore, a plastic chair cannot be a plastic chair because that’s philosophy, the chair is plastic or a chair.
ID = Our wisdom
Ego = Our philosophy
So, we are our actions.
What we have done in our past is what creates the Angels & Demons that surround us.
Angels & Demons are also manifest by the things done onto us.
So for example we sacrifice people to summon a Demon.
This creates our karma, Karma is when we don’t learn our lesson the same situation repeats until we accept our mistakes & make the changes.
Angels and Demons can be also described as what makes up consciousness. Angels being consciousness. Demons being subconsciousness, so, until we make our demons conscious we will continue to be controlled by them from our subconscious. Preventing us from being ourselves. What we have not made conscious is our shadow.
Angels & Demons are what create our personality We can think of the ego as presence and that be all our demons playing together.
Life is about growth, holding on and letting go. We gain wisdom from angels and demons.
To create a Demon we go experience something and start a ritual*, then we simply let our Demons out to play and let them possess someone else. Talk about them, write poetry, a short story or a lesson we learned. This way they lose their power. The karma is released. * A ritual is taking the long way home around an action to create a better result, we apply method to the madness, and take small steps into creating bigger actions. Like gathering ingredients to empty our minds of all the questions and gain the power to manifest something we want :)
This is us creating the capacity to fulfil our dreams. We take the steps towards our dreams. This is creating more space inside ourself for them to happen. Whilst we are doing this; we are attracting the reality we want, by implementing our intension we create a ripple that spirals back to us. This is how our thoughts create our reality. We’re forcing the universe to conspire in our favour until we master what we are doing and gain the wisdom from the ritual. “I am” is the beginning of all wisdom, what we say after these words is what creates our reality.
We are god, Demons are our imperfections we fear being seen by the crowd, the fears that control us, this is how we attract what we fear, we become what we hate.
Demons will always stay with us, they are out to get us, Angels are their to save us. Demons give us the challenges in life, Angels give us the wisdom to get through them. Demons be like our children, frenemies, we have to give them something to look up to. We can think of Angels as our higher self, the elders.
So, we are the sins of our fathers. In this sense we are an accumulation of our ancestors. Each generation naturally practices self control and has had a sense of good and evil. Meaning, we inherit less & less Demons and we’re acquiring more & more wisdom through generations over time until we enter heaven.
In other words we have to go through hell and defeat all the demons to get to heaven.
There must be an alternate universe running backwards. One where philosophy comes first we are drawing all our energy from, the void must be a wormhole our imagination is trapped in eager to be discovered.
Wisdom = time
Philosophy = space 🙂
Dimensions:
3rd dimension = action, material world
4th dimension = thought, dream world
5th dimension = no thought, spirit world
The universe is a mirror so there would be ten dimensions, because we are in the middle of the middle looking in at the middle
They say life is better understood backwards so, the universe manifest from one point, the 1st dimension but, the universe also manifest from the higher dimensions. The higher dimensions are bigger, so, we go down the middle and we would say the 5th dimension is the centre of the universe. This is where the universe started but, this is not true. This creates dimension zero which is the egg, so, we have the 5th dimension down the middle of the spectrum which is the sperm. The 1st and the tenth, all this this creates you, a little spec, a special creation, a little miracle, a 5D, 3D hologram but, we’re not alone. We was shattered at the start. We mirror again, meaning the universe started with a twin flame in the 6th dimension. Each spec is going across distance is flat, each made of 3 points so, each spec is made up of zero, the fifth and the 3rd. Space, time & matter, creating a 3,6,9 pattern in every direction. This is the 3,6,9 method. This means everything that’s possible that could be manifest, manifest at the start of the universe with unlimited possibility 🙂
This would mean each universe is contracting or expanding. That there is only beginnings. All life is game, the universe is like a Russian doll.
This would mean we are all born at the centre of the universe. We are born with all the wisdom of the universe and life is a journey moving closer or further away from the centre of the universe as we develop, discovering wisdom or not. We are the singularity. This makes us creation & creator. :)
We all have the Ontic Sphere,
“ Deep inside the being of a human life there's a secret connection to powers and forces, the refined and raw energies of the world and the cosmos beyond it, all funneling down and inward to that secret connection and flowing through the entire ontic sphere* of the human being, bringing more reality to the reality than it had before it was fed the true foods of existence, the blending of experiences and the feelings, and from the ontic sphere spreading out to all the world, radiating like a microscopic star the rays and beams of a formative influence, making the human being more than a consumer or a parasite, but a symbiote, a producer even of the transformation flows through the topologies shaping reality everywhere. This is a good purpose for human beings, enriching the very planet and it's planes themselves, and between them, even more special the magick, the sorcery, the craft, the very tales of love and drama, the majestic other dimensions of the being of the human family. Consciousness is more than a trip, it's a vital part of our present cosmos & chaos alike. *An Ontic sphere, to the best of my understanding, is the world which you live interplaying with your psyche and it's organic expressions, creating an almost ultrafractal and transfractal appearance and relevance to life.” - written by Jerry David Rosenberger
So in theory. Each solar system is like a little universe. There are possibly little you’s running around with one leg missing. Our imagination is a portal. All the chaos happening here right now, is all the chaos happening everywhere in the universe. We could be the first to leave the planet and it’s probably already happened. Our realist us would be immortal and complete all challenges in life. All life across the universe shares the 3D 5D realm.
Everything that exists inside the mind has already happened somewhere or is about to happen. Everything is a phase. Everything is a figment of our imagination. Life is but a dream.
We could say we all share the same dream and it’s a dream within a dream. Meaning we all share the same wisdom with unlimited paths of getting there.
This means we are all connected. Meaning we all have attachments, demons. This causes frustration & frustration is the door to perception. We all desire happiness & the more wisdom & philosophy we attain the more heavenly life is. We can take these steps, (Compassion > self control > reason) on the way to attaining wisdom.
We have the question do we have free will? On one side we say everything happens for a reason. On the other side we say everything is random. If we go down the middle we say, self control is a form of free will. Yes, the universe is determined but the more awareness we have the more choice we have. The middle path is useful for philosophy. The middle path may mean going a hard right to balance a weak left.
Gratitude is the state of mastership, so, we rather ask what is this trying to teach me? instead of why me? in moments of frustration. It’s important not to play the victim.
And then there’s the eightfold path.

1. Right understanding (Samma ditthi)
2. Right thought (Samma sankappa)
3. Right speech (Samma vaca)
4. Right action (Samma kammanta)
5. Right livelihood (Samma ajiva)
6. Right effort (Samma vayama)
7. Right mindfulness (Samma sati)
8. Right concentration (Samma samadhi)

As you can see consciousness is a manifestation of interactions. Our soul is an accumulation of our ancestors, all our and Angels and Demons. We are one soul, wisdom, philosophy, we are all different souls. We came here with lessons to learn passed down through generations already so, an old soul is wise, every generation is more advanced than the next. Children are the wisest on the planet, children know they know but don’t know what they know until they are older.
So, Alls life is is a story going back in time to understand creation. We are an accumulation of the past, future and present. Souls can come from other planets as well as this as we are time travellers. We all have the ordinance of the entire universe limited by our awareness.
Everything has its place and we want everything in it’s fitting place. Good and evil can be seen as a spectrum. Intentions come into play and even the observer so, there can be a greater good and a lesser evil. When a crowd come together we all get on a level, you get what you give, for some direction I suggest:
To do love onto another is good; out of love for yourself, to make one love oneself. Evil is to inflict suffering on to another; out of hate for yourself, to make one hate oneself.
We have three forces pulling us. We all have god, we are god, wisdom. We all have our demons, our path, our philosophy and we all have our idea of perfection that haunts us.
Everything is spiralling us :)
The 5th dimension is where we are all heading. Where we are all connected at the heart and have empty minds, experiencing things like telepathy.
This would be heaven. This is where we become free spirits. This is where all our wisdom & philosophy comes from. Everthing has a spirit, all matter and thought are a manifestation of spirit.
Archons are what set the limits on our wisdom & philosophy.
The greys are the Devine perfect beings from the future that we will all metamorphosis into. They can shape shift, time travel & take hostage in our mind like a parasite. Everything get’s smaller and closer to perfection. These are what create our negative thoughts the beings preventing us from completing our challenges. They feed off of negative energy; if there’s no imperfection, they can’t exist.
if we don’t pay attention to spirits, spirits lose their power, so, we can kill death. Fear is a virus, the root of all evil.
I assume you know what to do. Our purpose is to express ourselves in order to understand ourselves and the universe. I suggest you be yourself.
This is how habits create the man. :)
We are a result of our life choices.
Knowledge is power.
Bonus:
Ten Commandments
Rule one Trust no one
Rule two Serve a brew
Rule three Dance with me
Rule four Don’t ask for more
Rule five Learn to dive
Rule six No quick fix
Rule seven Love comes second
Rule eight Always be straight
Rule nine Do not wine
Rule ten Master your zen

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The Book of Doom
Living the Dream
Intro
Story of a time traveller trapped in a world where everything is backwards.
I’ve possibly never had an original thought. I’ve lived my life and been manipulated left right and centre.
I love everyone.
I think I’ve rarely been conscious. My friends say i day dream more than participate in thought.
I think I’ve mastered life though & people in power know & are following me.
My whole life is a lie.
The whole world is a stage.
From genocide, world war & Jesus.
I’ve lived life just letting life take me.
It feels real but none of it feels like my own.
The population to resources is a shambles but with technology and everyone working together we could turn the world green :)
They’re going to implement change through a world war where we will have no choice but to work together.
I’ve pretty much lived life for my mother and father, followed them all my life. My next job could be at the Chatsworth house. Working for the Duke of Devonshire.
I was stressed working with my mum, she ran a catering business and my Gran has moved to Greece. Alls I did from 15-17 was play video games. Outdoors had got violent and territorial. Xbox multiplayer came out and the introverts stayed in.
I played a pc game called Visual Utopia. It was an mopg, 2D map with around 200 players. A turn based strategy game, like hunger games, chess, fort nite, RISK & C&C all in one. You landed with 50 soldiers in a unit & had to find a place to settle, find friends & create a kingdom to survive. I hated it and loved it at the same time.
At 17 I moved to Greece with intensions of staying or coming back after a summer like I did. I convinced Gay to come with me before hand, I went but he couldn’t because of his dad. He came over a month later though. Damon was on holiday there with lads from work, he’d already booked before the idea and said he’d stay when I came over. Damon stayed two months and Gay stayed 1 month. Gav came back and got a job in Livingstones. I came back five months later and my neighbour got me a job in Bar Centro working for Noah the next week. I said to my mum, give me a year I’ll be manager. I was supervisor trainee manager after six months, after a year, Noah offered me managers job and a shit salary so I turned it down. He took me on holiday, now I black out when I’m drunk and I remember nothing of the holiday but I have a memory of him threatening to kill me if the truth gets out.
I’ve spent many family holidays with my mum in Greece. Me & mum loved to travel. She also took me to Paris twice, which a fell in love with but I was most fascinated by Greece, their history & architecture. From what I heard, Greek Mafia had their hands in bit coin & some of the common folk had ancestors from Zimbabwe which when I asked them about they was shady and avoided the question, as if they we’re wondering how I knew.
Here my life pretty much begins. My parents split at the age of seven. My mum and dad worked in bars, Bradbury Club, which has been torn down now. My dad was all round handy man pretty much managing the place, my mum worked the bars.
The split was rough. Me and dad moved to a flat in Grangewood then to Brimington where my Nan lived. My dads mum.

• Contents :)

Chapter One - Age Seven
Chapter Two - Age Eight to Fourteen
Chapter Three - Age Fifteen to Sixteen.
Chapter Four - Age Seventeen
Chapter Five - Age Eighteen to Nineteen
Chapter Six - Age Twenty
Chapter Seven - Age Twenty One
Chapter Eight - Age Twenty Two to Twenty three
Theory of everything contents
The more wisdom and philosophy we attain the more heavenly life is
Wisdom is the truth known consciously
Truth is what has consistent value
We are all connected
We are the centre of the universe
We are an accumulation of our ancestors
Consciousness is the manifestation of interactions
We are a sum total of our experiences
Free will is a form of self control
Frustration is the door to perception
Hell is the burning desire for this moment to be different. Heaven is the present moment
Gratitude is the state of mastership
Everything is a phase
Good is to do love onto another; out of love for yourself, to make one love oneself. Evil is to inflict suffering on to another; out of hate for yourself, to make one hate oneself
We attract what we fear, we become what we hate
Unconditional love does not mean unconditional behaviour
Karma is when you don’t learn your lesson the same situation repeats until you accept your mistakes & make the changes.
The universe; inner and outer, is a spiral, what goes around comes back around
Change your mind, change the world around you
Our purpose is to express ourselves in order to understand ourselves and the universe
Alls life is is a story going back in time to understand creation
We are time travellers
Knowledge is power

• Chapter one. - Age seven

My dad was an all round handy man. He was a carpenter in his spare time to earn us extra cash. We loved building things together or, I loved copying him.
I met Tricky, Gay & Alan at Brimington Junior School. Me and Tricky lived on the same street. We became friends when two girls stole his shoe and I just happened to be there. We became very good friends. We loved playing with action figures & watching Dragon Ball Z. Tricky was a bit mardy, hated playing outdoors and hated PC but I loved playing Age of Empires at his. With Gay & Alan, we loved to play outdoors & have tea at each other’s houses, throughout life we have loved building things together. I joined cubs with Tricky & I went to karate with Tricky.
I also gained three step brothers from my mums side. Daniel, Mathew & Liam. My brothers always stuck up for me and I looked up to Daniel, he was awesome :) we all loved building things together, playing blind mans bluff & man hunt. We also played for our local Rugby team & was learning to box at the local boxing club. Me and Liam played in the same team at rugby, under 11’s because I was small enough to be a back and get away with it even though I was 13 :) Me and Mathew was too big for me at boxing and Liam was too small for me so I never really got a fair fight. Mathew also joined the choir at the Crooked Spire :)
My Gran was amazing to me. Now let’s get to her. :) She was a very faithful woman, adored by the church and had great piano skills. She was well respected and played piano for the church. She used to get tons of Christmas cards. I loved learning to play piano with her, well, a little. :) she used to always play classical music and we’d drink orange juice and elderflower which is still a favourite, thanks Nan :) We could never say the Lords name in vein, my dad and her friend are the one’s that got me and Tricky into cubs :)
A rough part of my life in general this was. It was rough on the streets, fighting and territorial gangs of kids. I had baby sitters from a young age. Even before the break up. After the break up. I had mark bottoms who came from my street. He was still a kid really. Probably only 15. He used to bully me and beat me up. I blocked out most of my memory but I remember being trapped under a table being hit with poles. After one night another one of the baby sitters kicked him out, I called him a ginger twat down the street then he chased me to the shops and tripped me over. Fun :)
In Boythorpe I wasn’t having much more luck at my mums either. We was just being kids, taunting shop keepers when one dragged me into the shop. They then grabbed an arm each and started beating me, lovely stuff :) The shop keepers fled the country.
So I had a rough family break up that resulted in police tearing us apart and I was being beaten left right and centre :)

• Chapter two - Age Eight to Thirteen.

By age thirteen I’d made lots of new friends and felt more comfortable. School was fun, the work was not. I’d took up ju jitsu as a hobby, I was a natural and stuck at it two years. :) I remember learning to draw in perspective, 3D in the younger years, creating a tin can alley to raise money for charity and having the dinner lady steal the earnings, lovely stuff. :) We’d play army with our imagination, we’d play pokemon cards & bulldog, the usual stuff kids we’re playing :)
I met a bunch of other more friends along the way, Ryan Turner, Luke Spyra, Damon Shaw, Daniel Stirling, Daniel Wood etc... I met Luke Spyra on the parks through Ryan Turner I met in school through girls we used to associate with. I fancied the girl that fancied Turner so I clung to Turner to learn everything I could from him. He’s still a close friend now. I met Stirling & Woody through school. I met Damon on the streets. He came from Manchester and his uncle was once the head of defence :)
I don’t remember doing any work during school because I basically didn’t do it. :) I was very lazy & unimaginative when it came to writing, I could never produce more than three lines worth of writing. I wasn’t made for school. I remember playing something maybe called the game of life where we all had to pretend to be adults and work out our expenses, what we could afford and couldn’t afford, that was fun :) I remember in nursery my favourite thing to do was build with the blocks & I built a small bird house out of wood for my nursery teacher when I left because me loved her :) 13-15 was the good life after that where we just played and paid no attention to school. I spent most of my time day dreaming not bothering other kids so I got away with doing nothing :) At 15 I said I’d get 3 GCSE’s just incase and I got myself. Maths, Science & Electronics. I had a passion for business :)
Around this age, we moved twice and my dad had met Jean, we spent some time on Somerset drive where we’d play football, be more building & fighting. Jean was wonderful to us, she studied at university, loved classical music and would help me out with my english gcse :) we loved camping holidays. Unfortunately Jean died of cancer, along side my dad’s best friend who was like an uncle to us and joined us on holidays. My Dad’s life wasn’t getting much better :(
If I wasn’t at school I was at work :) I got my first wage packet at about 9 years or younger, cleaning with my aunt for £2.50. I used to work paper rounds with my brother at eleven and at 13 I had my own paper round. At 15 I was skipping school to labour for my step father plastering :)
I learned for a while and owned a drum kit & a electric Guitar at this time. We’d also all love playing Warhammer & getting eight players linked up to two Xbox’s in my shed & having BBQ’s in the summers
I was accident prone too, by this time I had broken my arm three times & my fingers once. One time at band camp my arm actually snapped in half, I stood up and immediently snapped it back in to place after my older brother threw my over his shoulders :) Proud moment. Aha

• Chapter three. - Age Fifteen to Sixteen

At fifteen we we’re pressured into making life choices, internet is becoming more popular. Streets are getting rougher and Xbox bought an online console out with Halo. Things got weird. We all started playing VU. I was mardy because Xbox had taken everyone indoors. But at-least I had VU. It had took a grasp on me and I became addicted. I played along side Turner, Gav, Adam, Damon, Straw, Stirlin & Woody. This was a rare time the game got a good flow of players.
I felt like there was a strange secret kept from me. I remember at one point in my life not being able to know something because I’m ginger as a joke. I linked it to VU lol.
Everyone but me and stirlin stopped playing, Stirlin was the founder. I became obsessed. I thought it was the most simple intelligent fun game there was on offer & I still do aha.
There was a kingdom called Legacy, pretty much like our illuminati of the world, all the veterans together undefeated. Well, I was determined to defeat them aha :) I set out on my own on a lower world to them where the noobs roam, Mantrax. I found two other players and created a kingdom called Trio, The Three Musketeers. All for one, one for all was our motto :) we became legendary in three era’s on the lower world. I had gathered about 20 noobs and was leading them all, teaching them how to play at the same time. We dominated every Era. On the fourth Era we went to the top world, Fantasia, where LGC roam and we defeated them :) Each era, Armageddon is cast by the winning kingdom and we all reincarnate again.
I wrote guides on this game. I was bar shit passionate about it, I felt like I was mastering life and Visual Utopia at the same time. I’ve met from the game probably around 200 people from all around the world and been trolled by nearly all of them :D I never felt respected by LGC but I felt respected and loved by other players. They mostly loved me :)
This game took over my life and I became depressed though between 15 & 17 whilst playing I was also working.
At Fifteen I started working for a company with my mum, it was silver service, waiting on for the three masons, on a steam train & weddings at Eyam Hall where the Black Plague started.
I was also working with my step dad plastering. I was working with Daniel Straw’s step dad landscaping & mechanics. I was left to change a gear box by myself lol. I did some bricklaying with Scott, my mum’s neighbour and with Damon Shaw’s Uncle Chris a couple of times.
I was also at College part time as well as school doing a bricklaying & painting & decorating City & Guilds
By 17 came I was out of work & stuck in just college not satisfied with my earnings or the fact I failed my driving test five times so, I moved to Greece :)

• Chapter Four - Age 17

At seventeen Greece was the time of my life. Bars. Booze. Boobs. Beach parties & work :) I started at a bowling alley for a Greek Australian friend of my Nans with Damon. We had accommodation right on the beach next door to Mac Donald’s. Atleast 15 units of alcohol a night for 5 months :)
It was legendary. Gav came and by then we’d been kicked out of our first apartment and had an upgrade. It had a separate kitchen and bathroom with two massive bedrooms each. When Damon and Gav left, I had one of these to myself :)
I started smoking weed with my new manager and became supervisor of a night club and hosted poker nights in my kitchen after work.
I still believe Faliraki was the best place for British workers because of the community we all had. I spent the first two weeks with my Nan by myself, once Damon arrived it was all go :)
We lived off Mac Donald’s, Subway, chips & cheese or a Gyros, one meal a day aha We spent our days adventuring the island, sun bathing and go karting :)
I got back just before my eighteenth birthday. I caught up with everyone and the drinking continue’d :) Gav loved vodka and so did Straw. I got a job in Bar Centro and Gav got a job in Livingstones. I remember we would down half a bottle of vodka each before we went out. I never drank around town until my eighteenth birthday. It was drinking at parks, houses and the streets from fifteen up until now but I could get away with drinking in Brimington pubs before I was legal :)
I continue’d playing vu throughout this and we had now all started using Skype :)

• Chapter Five - Age Eighteen to Nineteen

I loved my job at Bar Centro. I was getting paid for a social life. Sunday BBQ’s became a thing. Unfortunately Noah was married and sleeping with a girl that had friend zoned me, even told me she wants someone like me but not me. I learnt about the affair and this caused problems at work in the end. I was close to Laura, I never let it effect work until about twelve months in. I was taken on holiday to a fake maga reunion, at one point they was posing as night club owners to Ultra Beat and introducing me as manager as if we had a club big enough lol. I remember very little of the holiday, it’s all a blur but I remember being by a pool at one point. They sent me home at night once so they could have fun with women. I remember Nick telling me in the car if his wife found out I’m dead and he doesn’t care who my dad’s are.
A few more months of working and I’m offered salary and managers job. I was expected to work 50 hours a week, clean, manage the cellar & bar for 200 a week plus ten cash. I turned it down and I didn’t leave quick enough so they put a ban on phones then drew lines around my phone to see if I move and when I moved it they sacked me or I walked out there and then.
Lauren Whittaker joined in mid game and was sleeping with me and Nick.
I quickly got myself a job at escapade where I met Joe Mosley, Kirk Bytheway & Daniel Drew who became friends for years. I had a short fling with Hannah sellars I knew from Daniel Straws sister. Town had an awesome gang of workers, we was a little community, we often merged up with other bar workers for parties at each other’s houses. Summer peaked I became less interested in work, more interested in women & having sex. I got sacked at escapade for not taking the job seriously and spending more time dancing than working before my trial ended. I had also picked up another job at Vesuvius, a factory. So I didn’t care.
I got another job in brand new bar in town. I was also offered a job to run the bar and take a % with Gary Gee. I turned it down because Gary Gee was very Un organised and I’d have had to do all the work to turn the bar around. It was a failure. He framed me for stealing a tenner then sacked me lol.
I’m 19-20 now and round about this I met Leanne Moore :)

• Chapter Six - Age Nineteen to Twenty One

Leanne knew Beck who was the sister of a girl I worked worked with. I was sleeping with Beck for a month before Leanne attached herself to me, we had sex in the night clubs, neither of them we’re happy when they found out I was sleeping with them both. I saw this as a way out and a start at a fresh life. I dropped Beck for Leanne and she became my everything. I was hopelessly in love. We lasted twelve to eighteen months on and off planning life and she wanted out in the end, I spent most of my time telling her to wake up and getting stressed at all the pressure she was putting on me.
I was made redundant at Vesuvius a few months in & I started working at Dominoes as a delivery driver with Luke Spyra as manager. Leanne has been going to university at Hull and I have been spending my time working full time and partying with Leanne in Hull. We loved each other too much to be apart, we went together like two peas in a pod, we was both dreamers and hard workers, very passionate people and we both clashed and argue’d a lot.
Her dad worked at Royal Mail and we decided it would be a good idea for me to get a job there. Me and her dad we’re pretty similar, both computer geeks & fiercely competitive. They used to call me stupid together and taunt me, her mum would stick up for me. They made me feel like family and bullied me at the same time
So I applied at Royal Mail a few times & got a job at Chesterfield, the head office of Royal Mail. I knew privatisation was coming and I was warned it was the worst office in the UK. I knew although we had broke up in the end I had made it, I had a job for life, I had unlimited possibility.
Leanne was inspiring though, she had come back from university and made a promotion in two jobs before we split
Leanne wanted to rush things, get married and have babies, I wanted to take my time and she couldn’t trust me, we was looking at houses to buy and I was walking a tightrope for her trying to keep her happy. I had to get a back bone and stopped having sex her at times, she gave me a black eye at one point and we just kept falling apart.
Gavin in the mean time had setup a business called Bespoke Bartenders with Rick. I was working and partying with them. I was working 50 + hours a week. I couldn’t keep my managers at work happy and my girl happy. I cheated. We ended. My managers told me to get out more so I went and slept with three girls and realised quickly it wasn’t the answer but my ego was back and I was a now a poser :)
I’m 21 now. :)

• Chapter Seven - Age Twenty One

Danny Swan came into the picture. He appeared at Gav’s once and we started drinking together. Danny Swan was the most popular in town who hung around with the rich kids & got all the girls. I couldn’t compete with them so I didn’t even try lol. I believed I was stupid and ugly. Always had trouble with women. Had issues with my hair & weight. We started drinking together every weekend, it was fun just dancing, smoking drinking and getting attention from girls.
I’ve always been constantly criticised & called stupid and ugly by friends. My step dad used to say I was gay and point at me saying look at him he’s thinking, he knows what you’re thinking, that stuck with me. Girls used to call me ugly and say it was because I was ginger. Lad mates would all call me stupid and put me down on everything I did, idea I had or what I owned, nothing was ever good enough. I have often been flabbergasted at everyone, noticed people’s insecurities stop them from being themselves. I’ve always felt like everyone expects us to prove something. I hate it.
I was being used by Danny for a good time and my car. I didn’t mind, I just found it strange his need to steal fifty p from me once. Danny rarely had a job and always wanted to go out. We started smoking weed. I was paying for most things but I didn’t mind because I was in with the popular kids.
Danny introduces me to Mat Wood, Dan Malloy & Tom Smith. May wood was a tattoo artist. Dan was the leader singer of a band & Tom had just slept with everyone in town. I knew about them all previously from Laura Dawes. They all loved making fun of me and wanted me around all the time. The single life had began. I slept with three girls and realised this wasn’t the answer. I was looking for something meaningful. I just set to live & have a good time minus the sex. I made lot’s of new friends & reunited with old friends. Life was simple until point. Everyone wanted a piece of me and wanted to know what I was doing. I’d always just yolo’ it. I’d probably met 50 new people in a year.
I was a man in demand. Me and Ricky had caught up again and he always wanted me round his. Ricky and his friends all worked and I had a lot of good to say about them. They looked to Ricky as the what would Ricky do kinda guy.
Tom Smith was depressed and I was a sucker that couldn’t say no so I was also catering to him and hanging around with him to keep him happy
I made time for everyone & everyone started getting weird around me. I started questioning everyone and everyone was calling me stupid.
I had changed & I wanted to find out what was going off.
I’m now 22 and it’s 2012 :)

• Chapter Eight - Age Twenty Two to Twenty Three

Danny introduces me to Mat Wood. He was very keen to give me advice and thought I was going through an awakening. He told me to concentrate on my breath. I was very angry at this point. I wanted to know why everyone was being shady around me at the same time I was trying to gain respect from everyone. This drove me made trying to get respect.
I was having trouble at work also. They noticed I had changed. I blamed them for the break up putting pressure on me to work too much. They would punish me every time I said no. I clicked on to their methods and started making them look stupid. The managers didn’t find it funny but all I wanted was respect. One postman said at a Christmas party I was the future of Royal Mail. People knew I knew something.
A year went by with all the stress from work and friends, I’d given up, I just wanted to settle down and find a woman. I was trying to say no to everyone. I wanted control of my life.
I’m 23 now and it’s 2012.
Mat Wood and Jaydee introduce me to zeitgeist. I become obsessed with it and watch it slowly. Watch a piece, meditate on it, concentrated on my breath and let the thoughts flow.
Suddenly bam. I had awoken. I had mastered life. All the dots connected in my life from past present to future. I was petrified I was going to destroy the world and everyone was out to get me for it. I was watching the whole world spiral around me from that point onwards.
I remember when my mind eclipsed I thought I was the last point in time.
This is my theory of everything :)

• Theory of everything :)

The secret to philosophy is, it is true if you believe it to be true. Philosophy is like taking the tomato and making tomato sauce. Wisdom is knowing it is a tomato. By these means, philosophy keeps getting closer to the tomato. We make purée then we make slices and eventually we find our tomato, wisdom. Basically all philosophy is bull**** around what could be true. Wisdom is the result of good philosophy, which stands the time until another cycle begins. Philosophy is the love of wisdom.
So for example, we look at a chair and can see it is a chair, wisdom, philosophy, we can see it is nails and wood. :)
Wisdom is basically what is with the times; what the crowd can agree upon, what has consistent value. As for philosophy, we wouldn’t pick an in coherent philosophy out of the air but, someone may have an experience that gives them a philosophy that is ahead of the times. It only works if we truly believe it. :)
So basically psychosis = differently sane. :)
Their’s layers to truth but everything is built on truth. Truth can have more than one answer but a limited amount of answers. Meaning it is possible to understand the universe. :)
We are unlimited awareness but what we are materialistically is limited so, in other words. Wisdom is limited. Philosophy is unlimited.
So therefore, a plastic chair cannot be a plastic chair because that’s philosophy, the chair is plastic or a chair.
ID = Our wisdom
Ego = Our philosophy
So, we are our actions.
What we have done in our past is what creates the Angels & Demons that surround us.
Angels & Demons are also manifest by the things done onto us.
So for example we sacrifice people to summon a Demon.
This creates our karma, Karma is when we don’t learn our lesson the same situation repeats until we accept our mistakes & make the changes.
Angels and Demons can be also described as what makes up consciousness. Angels being consciousness. Demons being subconsciousness, so, until we make our demons conscious we will continue to be controlled by them from our subconscious. Preventing us from being ourselves. What we have not made conscious is our shadow.
Angels & Demons are what create our personality We can think of the ego as presence and that be all our demons playing together.
Life is about growth, holding on and letting go. We gain wisdom from angels and demons.
To create a Demon we go experience something and start a ritual*, then we simply let our Demons out to play and let them possess someone else. Talk about them, write poetry, a short story or a lesson we learned. This way they lose their power. The karma is released. * A ritual is taking the long way home around an action to create a better result, we apply method to the madness, and take small steps into creating bigger actions. Like gathering ingredients to empty our minds of all the questions and gain the power to manifest something we want :)
This is us creating the capacity to fulfil our dreams. We take the steps towards our dreams. This is creating more space inside ourself for them to happen. Whilst we are doing this; we are attracting the reality we want, by implementing our intension we create a ripple that spirals back to us. This is how our thoughts create our reality. We’re forcing the universe to conspire in our favour until we master what we are doing and gain the wisdom from the ritual. “I am” is the beginning of all wisdom, what we say after these words is what creates our reality.
We are god, Demons are our imperfections we fear being seen by the crowd, the fears that control us, this is how we attract what we fear, we become what we hate.
Demons will always stay with us, they are out to get us, Angels are their to save us. Demons give us the challenges in life, Angels give us the wisdom to get through them. Demons be like our children, frenemies, we have to give them something to look up to. We can think of Angels as our higher self, the elders.
So, we are the sins of our fathers. In this sense we are an accumulation of our ancestors. Each generation naturally practices self control and has had a sense of good and evil. Meaning, we inherit less & less Demons and we’re acquiring more & more wisdom through generations over time until we enter heaven.
In other words we have to go through hell and defeat all the demons to get to heaven.
There must be an alternate universe running backwards. One where philosophy comes first we are drawing all our energy from, the void must be a wormhole our imagination is trapped in eager to be discovered.
Wisdom = time
Philosophy = space 🙂
Dimensions:
3rd dimension = action, material world
4th dimension = thought, dream world
5th dimension = no thought, spirit world
The universe is a mirror so there would be ten dimensions, because we are in the middle of the middle looking in at the middle
They say life is better understood backwards so, the universe manifest from one point, the 1st dimension but, the universe also manifest from the higher dimensions. The higher dimensions are bigger, so, we go down the middle and we would say the 5th dimension is the centre of the universe. This is where the universe started but, this is not true. This creates dimension zero which is the egg, so, we have the 5th dimension down the middle of the spectrum which is the sperm. The 1st and the tenth, all this this creates you, a little spec, a special creation, a little miracle, a 5D, 3D hologram but, we’re not alone. We was shattered at the start. We mirror again, meaning the universe started with a twin flame in the 6th dimension. Each spec is going across distance is flat, each made of 3 points so, each spec is made up of zero, the fifth and the 3rd. Space, time & matter, creating a 3,6,9 pattern in every direction. This is the 3,6,9 method. This means everything that’s possible that could be manifest, manifest at the start of the universe with unlimited possibility 🙂
This would mean each universe is contracting or expanding. That there is only beginnings. All life is game, the universe is like a Russian doll.
This would mean we are all born at the centre of the universe. We are born with all the wisdom of the universe and life is a journey moving closer or further away from the centre of the universe as we develop, discovering wisdom or not. We are the singularity. This makes us creation & creator. :)
We all have the Ontic Sphere,
“ Deep inside the being of a human life there's a secret connection to powers and forces, the refined and raw energies of the world and the cosmos beyond it, all funneling down and inward to that secret connection and flowing through the entire ontic sphere* of the human being, bringing more reality to the reality than it had before it was fed the true foods of existence, the blending of experiences and the feelings, and from the ontic sphere spreading out to all the world, radiating like a microscopic star the rays and beams of a formative influence, making the human being more than a consumer or a parasite, but a symbiote, a producer even of the transformation flows through the topologies shaping reality everywhere. This is a good purpose for human beings, enriching the very planet and it's planes themselves, and between them, even more special the magick, the sorcery, the craft, the very tales of love and drama, the majestic other dimensions of the being of the human family. Consciousness is more than a trip, it's a vital part of our present cosmos & chaos alike. *An Ontic sphere, to the best of my understanding, is the world which you live interplaying with your psyche and it's organic expressions, creating an almost ultrafractal and transfractal appearance and relevance to life.” - written by Jerry David Rosenberger
So in theory. Each solar system is like a little universe. There are possibly little you’s running around with one leg missing. Our imagination is a portal. All the chaos happening here right now, is all the chaos happening everywhere in the universe. We could be the first to leave the planet and it’s probably already happened. Our realist us would be immortal and complete all challenges in life. All life across the universe shares the 3D 5D realm.
Everything that exists inside the mind has already happened somewhere or is about to happen. Everything is a phase. Everything is a figment of our imagination. Life is but a dream.
We could say we all share the same dream and it’s a dream within a dream. Meaning we all share the same wisdom with unlimited paths of getting there.
This means we are all connected. Meaning we all have attachments, demons. This causes frustration & frustration is the door to perception. We all desire happiness & the more wisdom & philosophy we attain the more heavenly life is. We can take these steps, (Compassion > self control > reason) on the way to attaining wisdom.
We have the question do we have free will? On one side we say everything happens for a reason. On the other side we say everything is random. If we go down the middle we say, self control is a form of free will. Yes, the universe is determined but the more awareness we have the more choice we have. The middle path is useful for philosophy. The middle path may mean going a hard right to balance a weak left.
Gratitude is the state of mastership, so, we rather ask what is this trying to teach me? instead of why me? in moments of frustration. It’s important not to play the victim.
And then there’s the eightfold path.

1. Right understanding (Samma ditthi)
2. Right thought (Samma sankappa)
3. Right speech (Samma vaca)
4. Right action (Samma kammanta)
5. Right livelihood (Samma ajiva)
6. Right effort (Samma vayama)
7. Right mindfulness (Samma sati)
8. Right concentration (Samma samadhi)

As you can see consciousness is a manifestation of interactions. Our soul is an accumulation of our ancestors, all our and Angels and Demons. We are one soul, wisdom, philosophy, we are all different souls. We came here with lessons to learn passed down through generations already so, an old soul is wise, every generation is more advanced than the next. Children are the wisest on the planet, children know they know but don’t know what they know until they are older.
So, Alls life is is a story going back in time to understand creation. We are an accumulation of the past, future and present. Souls can come from other planets as well as this as we are time travellers. We all have the ordinance of the entire universe limited by our awareness.
Everything has its place and we want everything in it’s fitting place. Good and evil can be seen as a spectrum. Intentions come into play and even the observer so, there can be a greater good and a lesser evil. When a crowd come together we all get on a level, you get what you give, for some direction I suggest:
To do love onto another is good; out of love for yourself, to make one love oneself. Evil is to inflict suffering on to another; out of hate for yourself, to make one hate oneself.
We have three forces pulling us. We all have god, we are god, wisdom. We all have our demons, our path, our philosophy and we all have our idea of perfection that haunts us.
Everything is spiralling us :)
The 5th dimension is where we are all heading. Where we are all connected at the heart and have empty minds, experiencing things like telepathy.
This would be heaven. This is where we become free spirits. This is where all our wisdom & philosophy comes from. Everthing has a spirit, all matter and thought are a manifestation of spirit.
Archons are what set the limits on our wisdom & philosophy.
The greys are the Devine perfect beings from the future that we will all metamorphosis into. They can shape shift, time travel & take hostage in our mind like a parasite. Everything get’s smaller and closer to perfection. These are what create our negative thoughts the beings preventing us from completing our challenges. They feed off of negative energy; if there’s no imperfection, they can’t exist.
if we don’t pay attention to spirits, spirits lose their power, so, we can kill death. Fear is a virus, the root of all evil.
I assume you know what to do. Our purpose is to express ourselves in order to understand ourselves and the universe. I suggest you be yourself.
This is how habits create the man. :)
We are a result of our life choices.
Knowledge is power.
Bonus:
Ten Commandments
Rule one Trust no one
Rule two Serve a brew
Rule three Dance with me
Rule four Don’t ask for more
Rule five Learn to dive
Rule six No quick fix
Rule seven Love comes second
Rule eight Always be straight
Rule nine Do not wine
Rule ten Master your zen

This won't include everything you can do, Some stuff I just don't think is worth it. I also won't include stuff that I personally haven't done or stuff I have had problems with getting the money. This will be pretty long but if you are new to this it is a pretty simple way to earn some cash
We are basically building up a pot of cash to matched bet
So if I have £0 this is what I would do to get to £1000
Make a new email so you are not spammed with crap, There will be a lot of offers/Cashback i have missed I would advise that when you sign up to these sites, etc and you get the hang of things you check for yourself to see what else they offer as there is a lot to do.
Best Offer - Xendpay £10 Bonus| Non-Ref (No Bonus) - See near bottom of post for details
Best GPT Site -GG2U ($1 Bonus ) |Non-Ref (No Bonus)
Matched Betting - OddsMonkey (£1 Two Weeks Premium | Non-Ref
I have also not put in any games that you can do as normally the payout for these change all the time but I would recommend checking what pays the most for them and then google a guide etc to see how long it would take as some can pay good, Normally on these games it speeds it uploads if you buy a pack on the game but if you are going to do this make sure you will still profit from the offer and you buy a pack which will speed it up instantly
I done a game before that paid £30, bought a £5 pack and it was done instantly tho that offer is not on these GPT Sites anymore
If you are going to lie when doing surveys etc make sure you remember what profile you are making etc and use it across all the sites that way its easier but I would recommend just being honest
Start by signing up to these sites
Neevo

• Sign up and create your account, Make sure emails are not going to spam and log in every few days to see if you have tasks

Clickworker| non-ref

• Create your profile, Once you do this click assessments and take the UHRS Test... Make sure you read everything start the quiz and pass it (It's not that hard ) You can also do some of the surveys and task on the normal page to earn some extra money

Appen | non-ref

• Different to the above sites, It's more like a part-time job/Full-time job but as you agree to work a minimum of 10 hours per week when you get accepted to a project - Normal Jobs pay $14 per hour but you can get jobs paying $25 per hour ( I never had these )
• I would only sign up here if you are looking for more long term online work/part-time, Currently, some of the projects are a little dead but well still worth applying here

Prolific.co

• Create your account and make sure it is completed to 100%, I recommend keeping a tab of the Study page open so you can grab them right away

I would sign up to the sites above as it can take a few days (weeks for to appen) to get anything through
Then do the following ( Starting with £0)
0-£50
Curve £5 Bonus | Non-Ref ( No Bonus )
Use My Code - DOXPRY3D
I don't think you get a bonus with no code, This is a mobile app so search for it in-app store
Sign up, Verify your account and order your card, To get the bonus you need to make a payment with the card, You are going to use this when you do your first gambling offer so that way you are maximizing your profits
Qmee (50p Bonus) | Non-ref ( No Bonus )

• Sign up through my link and you will get 50p bonus for doing a survey, You can then instantly cash out the 50p
• Do a survey till you reach £2 in your account and cashout ( I personally advise you don't use this site other than for this bonus unless the surveys are offering a decent amount )

Now you have £2, Do the following offers - I'm not allowed to post my link or the post will be taken down
First, do this offer - https://www.reddit.com/beermoneyuk/comments/gbh0te/freetrade_megathread_free_mystery_share_worth/
Then do this offers - https://www.reddit.com/beermoneyuk/comments/fqjeal/trading212_megathread_free_share_worth_up_to_100/
You need to sign up through someone's link, Create and verify your account and deposit £1, This will then get you a free random share between £3-£80, then free trade is £3-£200
Id appreciate it If you used my Trading212 Link, Its in that thread :)
Now it takes time to get your money from these, Trading212 is 30 days and free trade is 7 days but you can see what shares you got and their value
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Now this is a very easy one to do but I'm, not 100% sure what you will get from it so I have no included this amount
Sign up to Coinbase Earn
Link - https://www.reddit.com/beermoneyuk/comments/jce62t/coinbase_megathread_post_all_referral_links_here/
I would really appreciate it if you signed up through my commented link on the post. This is a great offer to start, I helped someone do this recently and they got around £26 fees and withdraw tho you could get accepted into more or get a little less, All you need is ID to verify your account then click on Coinbase Earn at the top and try to do each lesson, The answers are very easy to get or you could just google them
Then do the Swagbucks bonus
Swagbucks ( Around £4 Bonus ) | non-ref ( No Bonus )
To get around £4 Bonus we need to earn 300SB within 30 days,
Do these two offers, Click on Discover then the following offer walls
AyeT- CyberGhost VPN Free Trial - 54SB
Adgem - Norton VPN Free Trial - 70SB
Also, install the Swagbutton, We both get a 100SB bonus, Go to and the Swagbucks home page, Left side of the page under "To-Do List " Click daily activity and it will take you to the install
Now do surveys till you get to the 300SB Limit or you can click into discover and do the little offers like above, So you can speed it up normally these little offers pay the same or there is very little difference from Swagbucks to other sites
-
GG2U ($1 BONUS)| non-ref ( No Bonus)

• Sign up and fill out your profile, Now click on Surveys and do either the $1 Yoursurveys or $1.25 Speak up Surveys

Prolific.co

• Create your account and make sure it is completed to 100%, I recommend keeping a tab of the Study page open so you can grab them right away

Populus Live

• These pay monthly but now they pay by bank transfer, Can get high paying surveys from these guys but you need to hit £50 to get a payout

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OhMyDosh £1 Bonus| Non-Ref (No Bonus)
Sign up here. Click on Surveys on the left-hand side and sign up through here to Panelbase, They pay £0.80 for this as signing up normally you get £0
Timebucks(I think $1 bonus) | Non-Ref ( No Bonus )

• The higher-paying surveys on here are under RevenueWall and Flapbucks
• Most I've had on Flapbucks was a £6 one and Revenuewall was £4 ( Don't do any under $1)

Keep open your Prolific tab and keep going at the GG2U $1/$1.25 Surveys, If you start running into being kicked out of them, I would move to Timebucks and give them a try on there, They pay less but me personally I have had more luck on there
PopulusLive will email you surveys and so should panel base but you could sign in and check what you have
After building up survey money ( £50 ), Do the following offers... In between doing these offers, you should still be doing surveys, or if you have a task on neevo/clickworkers even better.
(£50-£150)
MrQ| non-ref ( No free spins could be wrong tho )

• Deposit £10 also verify your number, You will get 10/20 free spins, Once you have used these go to Bingo and then "Free For All" This will give you 24 hours of free bingo. Try and make sure you play every free ticket to get the most money, It's every 2 hours from 9 am - 10 pm. Plays for an hour then 2-hour break
• Once you have played all your free bingo, Withdraw your £10 deposit and all your winnings from the spins and bingo

Now go back to GG2U ($1 BONUS)| non-ref ( No Bonus)
Click into "Offertoro"
The offer you are looking for is "Gala Bingo " and it will pay 3050.00 cent ( Around £24.50)
You need to sign up and deposit £5 on Gala Bingo and just wager the £5, So just buy £5 of bingo tickets... If you win any money great but I would just count this as a £5 loss to gain the £24.50 on GG27
Swagbucks ( Around £4 Bonus ) | non-ref ( No Bonus )
Click into "Discover" on the left-hand side of the homepage, Then click into featured offers and do the
Lottoland - 1300SB - Click the offer and it will take you to the sign-up and will cost £1 ( Make sure auto-renewal isn't on )
Quidco - REF ( £5 Bonus ) | NON-REF ( NO BONUS )
You get the £5 bonus once you reach the £5 cashback

• Once you have signed up search " MyHeritage" and take the £6.50 cashback for taking the free trial... Remember to cancel so you don't get charged.

TopCashBack - REF (£5 BONUS ) | NON-REF( No Bonus)
You get the £5 Bonus once you reach £10 confirmed cashback

• SearchLoto - £0.82 - Create your account, Make 25 Searched, and use Free Ticket.
• Experian - £3 - Sign up for a new account
• Graze - £2.47, Order your first box then cancel when it arrives
• Totally Money - £2.10 - Make an account and get a free credit report
• Tastecard - £3.30 - Free 2 Months trial

Now go back to
OhMyDosh £1 Bonus| Non-Ref (No Bonus)
Now do the following offers

• Gambing> Then William Hill Casino (£40 cashback)
• Click on the offer and make your account and deposit £10, Pick a game you want to play and either just do 20 auto-spins at 50p or do what you want just make sure you wager the full £10, So put it on auto spin so that when the auto spins end you have wagered £10

--
(£150-£300
Xendpay (£10 Bonus | non-ref( No bonus )
You are going to use £101 to do this offer, Sign up through my link and verify your account. Now you want to make a £101 transfer to yourself (Your other bank account) You will do pounds to euro, It will ask for a fee, Click on it and enter 0.00... Now input your other bank details, Then your card or you can make a bank transfer to them, Once you've done this it will unlock £10 for you, Repeat the above but this time do £10.01 and it will only cost you 0.01 ( Money should hit your other account in 2-4 days)
I would still be doing surveys but what i would do also is go through the Survey sites/Cashback sites and check all the offers they have even the little ones that you might only make £1 as you can normally do these really fast and I would just keep doing this stuff till I hit £300
£300+
Start Match Betting
I would start by using a service like
Oddmonkey Ref- Non-Ref
You will get 2 weeks premium for £1
Follow everything they tell you and you can't go wrong, If you have never had a gambling account before there is really good money to be made right away as you can do every offer but what you want to do is, For example, they tell you to make a Betfair account ( they will ) Check the Survey sites or Cashback sites and see which one will pay you the most for making a Betfair account (Sportsbook or Exchange )
If they are offering the Betfair Poker offer on cashback take that as its normally more profit than the other two if not just take one of the sportsbook or exchange ones
in between doing match betting, I would still be doing the surveys, etc nothing changes, As you could run out of money doing the matched betting, and doing the surveys is a great way to keep yourself generating the cash
--
Now there is a lot of offers I didn't post, So once you have made enough money you were happy with I would then come back on this subreddit and check which offers are worthwhile doing. Don't do the dumb ones where your money is tied up for 6 months and you get £10 back Because the way the world is right now no one knows if these companies will last and it's not a very good return on your money, Normally crypto offers are good for easy money but NEVER sign up to some dodgy site even if the reward looks good it just isn't worth the hassle