Kylo Ren and the Modern-Day Frankenstein's Monster
The character of Kylo Ren, especially among Reylo meta'ists, theorists, and Star Wars speculators, has been compared to many archetypal figures throughout classical lierature and mythology: Hades, God of the Underworld (see Lindsay Ellis's video here); Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera (also see Lindsay Ellis's videos here and here); and even Lord George Gordon Byron, by way of Byron setting the standard for the Byronic hero, as well as other Romantic-era ideals (see video here). However, in this post today, I wanted to draw up another archetypal, classical character to comparison, and one that I feel has been vastly overlooked...Kylo Ren as a "modern-day Frankenstein's monster", drawing from Mary Shelley's classic novel, Frankenstein: Or, the Modern Prometheus (1818). Frankenstein, in turn, was authored by Mary Shelley, wife of poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, and a friend and associate of Lord Byron. Shelley's novel also draws heavily from another classical work of literature, John Milton's epic poem, Paradise Lost, as well as Samuel Taylor Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Lord Byron, originator of the Byronic hero, was also fascinated with the Greek myths of the great Titan, and supposed creator of mankind, Prometheus. So, too, was Mary's husband and frequent creative collaborator, Percy Shelley.
Byron was particularly attached to the play Prometheus Bound by Aeschylus, and Percy Shelley would soon write his own Prometheus Unbound (1820). The term "Modern Prometheus" was actually coined by Immanuel Kant in reference to Benjamin Franklin and his experiments with electricity. [...] Percy [Shelley] and [Lord] Byron's discussion on life and death surrounded many scientific geniuses of the time. They discussed ideas from Erasmus Darwin, and the experiments from Luigi Galvani. Mary [Shelley] joined these conversations, and the ideas of Darwin and Galvani were both present in her novel. The horrors of not being able to write a story for the contest, and her hard life, also influenced the themes within Frankenstein. The themes of loss, guilt, and the consequences of defying nature present in the novel all developed from Mary Shelley's own life. The loss of her mother, the relationship with her father, and the death of her first child created the monster, and his separation from parental guidance. (Wikipedia)
The same year that Frankenstein was published (1818), Percy Shelley, in turn, was writing Prometheus Unbound. However, Frankenstein, in particular, is highly relevant to Star Wars in two ways. The first is that is is one of the earliest examples, and forebears, of the sci-fi genre, to which Star Wars belongs, as a whole. It speculates about technology's effect on the body and society, and asks the question, "What is human?"
Frankenstein is infused with elements of the Gothic novel and the Romantic movement. At the same time, it is an early example of science fiction. Brian Aldiss has argued that [Frankenstein] should be considered the first true science fiction story because, in contrast to previous stories with fantastical elements resembling those of later science fiction, the central character "makes a deliberate decision" and "turns to modern experiments in the laboratory" to achieve fantastic results. (Wikipedia)
The second is that Frankenstein also largely influenced the original trilogy of Star Wars films, particularly with the character of Darth Vader (Anakin Skywalker), the grandfather (and predecessor) of Kylo Ren. British bodybuilder and actor David Prowse, who physically portrayed Darth Vader in the original Star Wars trilogy, also originally began his career by playing Frankenstein's monster in three films: Casino Royale (1967, first film) and the Hammer horrors The Horror of Frankenstein (1970, third film) and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974). Prowse had even particularly starred alongside Peter Cushing (Grand Moff Tarkin) in Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974), billed as "the most terrifying experiment in horror ever filmed". Cushing, of course, played his signature role of Doctor Victor Frankenstein, while Prowse played the monster — types they wouldn’t stray too far from as Tarkin and Darth Vader in Star Wars. Indeed, it's quite likely that both Prowse and Cushing were hired precisely due to their previous roles in that film. (Source) Later on, Vader's connection to Frankenstein's monster, and the Emperor or Darth Sidious's to the "creator", Doctor Frankenstein, were further cemented by the scene where Vader is placed inside his iconic suit in Revenge of the Sith (2005). This scene in particular is commonly regarded as a "homage to Frankenstein" by many fans and viewers, where Anakin Skywalker "dies", only to be "rebuilt" or "recreated" into the Emperor's Dark enforcer and servant, Darth Vader. In Star Wars: Rebels, Vader also states to Ahsoka Tano during their confrontation:
The man he was before is "dead", or so Vader believes. Instead, in his place, we have "the monster", the creation of Palpatine, or Darth Sidious. There are also many more references to Shelley's Frankenstein related to the character of Darth Vader within the prequel trilogy films, which are explored more in-depth in the article "Unnatural Births: Star Wars and Frankenstein" by Clone Corridor. However, for the purposes of this post, I wanted to more so focus on the character of Kylo Ren, who is connected to Vader not only through his "mighty Skywalker blood", but also through similar characterization, theming, metaphors, and symbolism. Particularly, as his actor, Adam Driver, has said before, whereas Vader's character revolves around "the monster", or the "monstrosity" aspect of Frankenstein, Kylo's centers more on the theme of "humanity" posed by the same novel. After all, compare this scene from The Force Awakens to Vader's from Rebels, with one echoing the other.
"Frankenstein is one of my favourite novels. Not only is the story of its origin beautifully sensational, it has a brilliant female author, and its plot is one which continues to be relevant, and which goes very deeply into what it means to be human, what decides good or evil, and whether we are doomed by our own birth. At the heart of the novel lies the Creature (or Monster, as some like to call it, but I find that too judgemental). It lies there both thematically and structurally, since the novel has a framework structure. This means that each story encapsulates another, i.e. we start with the story of Captain Walton who, upon finding Victor Frankenstein, makes way as narrator for Frankenstein who himself eventually makes way for the Creature to speak. This is then repeated backwards, as after the Creature it is once again Frankenstein’s words we get, and the novel closes with Captain Walton’s narrative. This convoluted structure is part of the appeal of the novel, since it allows for a lot of cross-comparisons between the different narrators, in the same way that the inverted structure of Star Wars (VI,V,IV – I, II, III) allows for certain parallels to be more obvious."
It is certainly worth mentioning that Rey literally refers to Kylo Ren as "Creature" and "Monster".
Rey: Where am I? Kylo Ren: You're my guest. Rey: Where are the others? Kylo Ren: Do you mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends? You'll be relieved to hear I have no idea. (pauses) You still want to kill me. Rey: That happens when you're being hunted by a (C)reature in a mask. [Kylo Ren removes his helmet, revealing himself to be a human man to Rey.] [...] Kylo Ren: We're not done yet. Rey: You're a monster. Kylo Ren: It's just us now. Han Solo can't save you. [...] Ren: Why is the Force connecting us? You and I? Rey: Murderous snake! You're too late! You've lost! I've found Skywalker! Ren: Did he tell you what happened? The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you why? Rey: I know everything I need to know about you! Kylo Ren: You do? Ah, you do. You have that look in your eyes. From the forest. You called me a monster. Rey: You are a monster. Kylo Ren: (pauses)Yes, I am.
As it relates to Frankenstein:
"But it is true that, [yes], I am a wretch. I have murdered the lovely and the helpless; I have strangled the innocent as they slept, and grasped to death his throat who never injured me, or any other living thing." - The Monster, Frankenstein (Clone Corridor: "The Creature is hit by remorse and anguish over his own life. The Creature [feels he has no choice but to] accept the horrid impression Captain Walton has of him [as a Monster], and sees himself as such.") In the novel, Frankenstein's creation is identified by words such as "creature", "monster", "vile insect", "daemon", "wretch", "abortion", "fiend" and "it". Speaking to Victor Frankenstein, the monster says, "I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel" (which ties to Lucifer in Paradise Lost, which the monster reads, and which relates to the disobedience of Prometheus in the book's subtitle). [...] Part of Frankenstein's rejection of his creation is the fact that he does not give it a name, which causes a lack of identity. (Wikipedia) "The monster conceives of himself as a tragic figure, comparing himself to both Adam and Satan. Like Adam, he is shunned by his creator [God], though he strives to be good. These rhetorical questions epitomize the monster’s ill will toward Victor for abandoning him in a world relentlessly hostile to him, and foist responsibility for his ugliness and eventual evil upon Victor, [his creator]." - SparkNotes
"Murderous snake", another quip by Rey, is, too, likely a reference to Lucifer from Paradise Lost, or Satan, who takes the guise of a snake in the Garden of Eden to tempt Eve into eating the fruit of the Tree of [Forbidden] Knowledge. One could also argue that, as Ben Solo "ought to be thy Adam" (pun intended), and given the yonic and sexual awakening symbolism scattered throughout The Last Jedi, Rey could be considered "Eve". Perhaps, even, with Luke Skywalker as "God". Eventually, however, as Rey sees the "humanity" in "the Monster" (Kylo Ren), by the time she is brought before Snoke by Kylo, she has given him his name: "Ben". This is meant to remind the "Monster" of his "humanity", and his human identity. There is the very real question, too, that the sequel trilogy poses in regard to the character of Kylo Ren, and Ben Solo: "Was he doomed by his own birth as a Skywalker?" More recently, we have seen this addressed in several new canon novels as well, including Chuck Wendig's Aftermath series, which heavily implies a yet-unborn Ben Solo was targeted by a "Dark and powerful Force presence" in Leia's womb; Claudia Gray's Master and Apprentice ("She who was born to Darkness, will give birth to Darkness"); and various novels which chronicle Leia's own estranged, negative relationship with Darth Vader as her biological father. In The Last Jedi, we also see Luke Skywalker's fear of Ben Solo's powerful Force presence, which he admits to Rey. Here, too, Luke even compares Kylo Ren to Darth Vader, and echoes the themes of Frankenstein in relation to the creator (Victor Frankenstein) "failing" his creation (Frankenstein's monster), creating him in his "hubris".
Luke Skywalker: Lesson two. Now that they're extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, deified. But if your strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris. Rey: That's not true! Luke Skywalker: At the height of their powers, they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out. It was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader. Rey: And a Jedi who saved him. Yes. Your father was the most hated man in the galaxy. He caused so much death and destruction for many years. But you saw there was conflict inside him. You believed that he wasn't gone. That he could be turned. Luke Skywalker: And I became a legend. For many years, there was balance and then I saw... Ben. My nephew with that mighty Skywalker blood. And in my hubris, I thought I could train him, I could pass on my strengths. Han was... Han was about it, but... Leia trusted me with her son. I took him, and a dozen students, and began a training temple. By the time I realized I was no match for the darkness rising in him, it was too late...
Rey and Luke also have this exchange, after Rey and Kylo Ren touch hands through the Force-bond:
Luke Skywalker: [yells] STOP! [Rey and Kylo Ren look at him angrily and she looks for Kylo Ren who has vanished. She turns to Luke] Rey: Is it true? Did you try to murder him? Luke Skywalker: Leave this island, now! [Luke leaves. But, Rey followed him] Rey: Stop... STOP! [Rey slugs Luke with her quarterstaff. He turns to her] Rey: Did you do it? Did you create Kylo Ren? [the two proceed to fight each other along the cliffside until she gets the upper hand, forcing Luke into submission with Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber] Rey: Tell me the truth! Luke Skywalker: I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction and pain and death, and the end of everything I love because of what he will become, and for the briefest moment of pure instinct, I thought I could stop it. It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him. Rey: You failed him by thinking his choice was made. It wasn't! There's still conflict in him. If he would turn from the Dark Side, that could shift the tide! This could be how we win!
Another major aspect of Frankenstein, which also surfaces in The Last Jedi, is the presentation of different characters' narratives, or perspectives, to provide different facets of the same story. While director Rian Johnson claims that this was inspired by the works of Akira Kurosawa, including Rashomon and The Hidden Fortress, the different views of Kylo Ren and Luke Skywalker also mirror those presented for Frankenstein's monster and Doctor Frankenstein. Frankenstein, which is a frame story, involves Frankenstein informing Captain Walton, the original narrator, of his own tale, and warning Walton against searching for "the Creature" he has created. The Creature, much like Kylo Ren, is tall, bound with muscle, and has fearsome power and strength; naturally, Frankenstein fears "it". Despite this, the Creature finds Frankenstein, and pleads for his creator to hear his case.
Intelligent and articulate, the Creature relates his first days of life, living alone in the wilderness and finding that people were afraid of, and hated him, due to his appearance, which led him to fear and hide from them. [...] When he saw his reflection in a pool, he realized his physical appearance was hideous, and it terrified him as it terrifies normal humans. Nevertheless, he approached [a] family [he had grown fond of] in hopes of becoming their friend. Initially, he was able to befriend the blind father figure of the family, but the rest of them were frightened, and they all fled their home, resulting in the Creature leaving, disappointed. [In his anger], he traveled to Victor's family estate using details from Victor's journal, murdered William, and framed Justine. The Creature demands that Victor create a female companion like himself. He argues that as a living being, he has a right to happiness. The Creature promises that he and his mate will vanish into the South American wilderness, never to reappear, if Victor grants his request. Should Victor refuse his request, The Creature also threatens to kill Victor's remaining friends and loved ones, and not stop until he completely ruins him. [...] Working on the female creature on the Orkney Islands, he is plagued by premonitions of disaster, such as the female hating the Creature, or becoming more evil than him, but more particularly the two creatures might lead to the breeding of a race that could plague mankind. He tears apart the unfinished female creature after he sees the Creature, watching through a window. The Creature later confronts and tries to threaten Victor into working again, but Victor is convinced that the Creature is evil, and that its mate would be evil as well, and the pair would threaten all humanity.
We see this, too, echoed in The Last Jedi, particularly with how Luke Skywalker sees Rey, and how she reminds him of the "Creature" now known as Kylo Ren.
Luke Skywalker: You went straight to the dark! Rey: That place was trying to show me something. Luke Skywalker: It offered something you needed, and you didn't even try to stop yourself! Rey: But I didn't see you. Nothing from you. You've closed yourself off from the Force. Of course you have. Luke Skywalker: I've seen this raw strength only once before. It didn't scare me enough then. It does now...
So, too, do we have "the Creature" (Kylo Ren) angrily confronting his "creator" (Luke Skywalker):
Kylo Ren: Did you come back to say you forgive me? To save my soul? Luke Skywalker: No. [they draw their lightsabers and fight] Luke Skywalker: I failed you, Ben. I'm sorry. Kylo Ren: I'm sure you are! The Resistance is dead, the war is over, and when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi! Luke Skywalker: Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi. Kylo Ren: I'll destroy her. And you. And all of it. Luke Skywalker: No. Strike me down in anger, and I'll always be with you. Just like your father.
In Frankenstein, "the Creature" also mourns his creator's death, something which we may see Kylo Ren do in Episode IX.
Victor dies shortly thereafter, telling Walton, with his last words, to seek "happiness in tranquillity and avoid ambition". Walton discovers the Creature on his ship, mourning over Victor's body. The Creature tells Walton that Victor's death has not brought him peace; rather, his crimes have left him completely alone. (Wikipedia) "[The Monster] exclaims his desire for death [after his creator's passing], and even mentions a funeral pyre, before jumping out the cabin window, and disappearing into darkness and towards death. Having killed his Maker, who so wronged him, brings the Creature no pleasure, because there was nothing he had to live for, no one who will remember him." - Clone Corridors
Yet, even in spite of all of the above, and both the "Monster" from Frankenstein and Vader's tales ending tragically in demise and death, Kylo Ren's story deviates in a major way from his predecessor's stories in one, major way: focusing on the character's humanity, and the theme of redemption. YouTuber Jenny Nicholson covers all of the evidence for redemption for Kylo Ren in her video here, but I will also share my own opinion on the topic. While Kylo Ren's story, much like that of Darth Vader's, mirrors the story of "the Monster" from Frankenstein, there are also changes to the original tale, updating and "modernizing" it. If anything, the sequel trilogy almost reads as a "fix-it" fictional story to the original Frankenstein, albeit with the inclusion of a female figure, and potential mate, that "the Monster" (Kylo Ren) can relate to: Rey. Through Rey's inclusion, we also see her as the catalyst for "the creator" - Luke Skywalker, in this case - eventually changing his views on his "creation", believing that "the Creature" can be redeemed. Furthermore, whereas Frankenstein ended with Victor Frankenstein dying because of "the Creature" he created, The Last Jedi, which ends with Luke Skywalker dying indirectly at the hands of Kylo Ren, is merely the second installment out of a three-part series. Likewise, just as Frankenstein was largely based off of John Milton's Paradise Lost, there is also an aptly-named follow-up by Milton titled Paradise Regained.
One major concept emphasized throughout Paradise Regained is the idea of reversals. As implied by its title, Milton sets out to reverse the "loss" of Paradise. Thus, antonyms are often found next to each other, reinforcing the idea that everything that was lost in the first epic will be regained by the end of this "brief epic". An interesting anecdote, recounted by a Quaker named Thomas Ellwood, provides some insight into Paradise Regained's development. After studying Latin with Milton, and reading the poet's epic Paradise Lost, Ellwood remarked, "Thou hast said much here of Paradise lost, but what hast thou to say of Paradise found?"
The updated "Frankenstein's monster", in the form of Star Wars' Kylo Ren, also comes on the heels of a revival of Frankenstein as a property in recent years in pop culture. From 2004 to 2015, there have been numerous TV, theater, and movie "revivals", and adaptations, on the Frankenstein story, including Benedict Cumberbatch playing both Frankenstein and "the Monster" in a 2011 production; Victor Frankenstein, a 2015 film starring James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe; I, Frankenstein, a 2014 film starring Aaron Eckhart as "the Monster"; and more. All of these stories also have something in common with Star Wars' take: their own "twist" on the traditional tale. In the case of movies like I, Frankenstein - which came out a year prior to The Force Awakens in theaters - there has also been much more focus on the themes of the "Creature"'s humanity, as well as religious themes like salvation and redemption. To quote Clone Corridors' article:
"Finally, I want to focus on a major contrast between the two characters [of the Monster and Vader], and that is the idea of redemption. The Creature never truly gets it in Frankenstein. Once his Maker dies of exhaustion after chasing him all over the globe, the Creature is hit by remorse and anguish over his own life. Pushed forward by Frankenstein’s hate for him, the Creature’s heart was filled with evil, and not until Frankenstein dies, does he seem to realize there could have been another choice."
This is something that Rey echoes in The Last Jedi about Kylo Ren:
Rey: You failed him by thinking his choice was made. It wasn't! There's still conflict in him. If he would turn from the Dark Side, that could shift the tide! This could be how we win!
Following up even further on the Frankenstein story revival is Guillermo del Toro's critically-acclaimed film, The Shape of Water (2017). Primarily inspired by del Toro's childhood memories of seeing Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), and wanting to see the Gill-man and Kay Lawrence (played by Julie Adams) succeed in their romance, the film, too, echoes Frankenstein, and "the Monster" desiring romantic love with a mate. Specifically, del Toro produced an adaptation of the story, focused more on the creature's perspective, where "the Creature" ended up together with the female lead. According to the article "Love and Monsters: Guillermo del Toro's 'The Shape of Water' and its Horror Influences" by Amy S. Li, a doctoral candidate in the Emory University Department of English:
'In many interviews, del Toro has spoken of the impact that classic horror films, such as James Whales’ Frankenstein (1931) and Jack Arnold’s Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), have had on him since childhood. The influence of the latter seems widely self-evident in the visual similarities between the Gill-man and del Toro’s fish man, but del Toro has also spoken explicitly about how a particular scene inspired the story which eventually became The Shape of Water. He reveals how, at the age of six, he watched Creature from the Black Lagoon with the expectation that the Gill-man would end up with Kay, the female love interest (portrayed by Julia Adams). “What a great love story!” he says of the creature swimming underneath Kay. “I was six; I thought, I’m sure it’s gonna end well!” The film, of course, did not end well for the creature, who sinks back into the water riddled with bullets, left to die. Del Toro concludes his anecdote by saying that though it took 46 years in the making, he “corrected it,” giving the creature the love story he thought it always deserved. [...] Del Toro’s love for Frankenstein is well-chronicled, and while the conversation usually hinges on the 1931 film adaptation, or its sequel, The Bride of Frankenstein, we do know that del Toro loves Mary Shelley’s novel, as he has written in an introduction to The New Annotated Frankenstein, and he even hopes to adapt it for a television miniseries in the future. [...] Del Toro declares this fish man, a god, “one of the most beautiful creatures I’ve ever committed to film.” It is his love and empathy for monsters that transforms this moment of creation—which recalls the moment of Frankenstein bringing his creature to life—into one of beauty, rather than fear or disgust. Octavia Spencer calls del Toro an “alchemist; he makes everyday things seem so otherworldly;” yet on the other hand, he manages to make the otherworldly also seem human. Del Toro’s work is thus transformative; though visually his films may resemble horror, he “rephrases” and “reconstructs” the genre. If horror is a “cathedral” or altar at which he worships, then his project is of making that space habitable. Unlike Frankenstein, he seeks not to be God, but instead to be more human.'
Furthermore, in the case of Star Wars and Lucasfilm, there is also the case of Strange Magic (2015). While based on Beauty and the Beast, according to George Lucas, it was also centered around a take on the traditional tale "where the Beast doesn't change". In this regards, it could also be seen as reminiscent of Frankenstein, especially as the film's "villain", the Bog King, laments, much like Frankenstein's monster, that he is unable to connect with, or have the love of, another. In the case of Lucas's take on the story, however, the Bog King ("the Beast / Monster") does eventually find love, and a mate, in a beautiful fairy princess, Marianne. Thus, Strange Magic ends with a happy ending, and according to Lucas, "Star Wars was for 12-year-old boys; I figured I'd make one for 12-year-old girls." (Source) To quote Clone Corridor once more:
"The story of [Frankenstein] goes very deeply into what it means to be human, what decides good or evil, and whether we are doomed by our own birth. At the heart of the novel lies the Creature (or Monster, as some like to call it, but I find that too judgemental)..."
And to quote Adam Driver (Kylo Ren) himself...
"I'm leery of big movies - a lot of them sacrifice character for spectacle. When they're bad, it pisses me off - you can just tell it's made by a bunch of executives somewhere. It was all about story and character and playing someone who doesn't have it all together. Making [Kylo Ren / Ben Solo] as human as possible seemed dangerous and exciting to me." (Sources) [...] “I think maybe this is such a general answer but you know, humanity. Even though it’s very much a blockbuster movie, and I’m aware of that, there was no taking that for granted and that we were forced to be general [in The Force Awakens]. There was a lot of plot points that we knew were operating in the first one, that we get to explain more in the second one, that kind of make both of them make sense...a lot of what I remember talking about with [Force Awakens director] J.J. [Abrams] and [The Last Jedi director] Rian [Johnson] was this idea of...two sides being morally justified to behave however they wanted to, to get whatever they thought was absolutely correct.” (Source)
And, on a final note, to quote Clone Corridors:
"Both Frankenstein and Star Wars lend themselves to analysing the grey matter between the absolutes of black and white. Both [Vader and Frankenstein's monster] are characters created wrongfully, and yet in one story ,we get a way in which even a villain can be redeemed. Not by becoming a hero anew, but by saving that which represents his goodness and kindness [and compassion, his human identity]."
Or, in the words of Rose Tico in The Last Jedi:
“That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, [but by] saving what we love."
Greetings all! Many thanks to the countless people who contributed to 10 months of fantastic discussions about one of the most iconic (and one of my favorite) film franchises of all time. This is just a little recap/debrief/wrap up article where I'd love to get everyone's thoughts on the series as a whole. Additionally, I've done some more ranking and list making because it's fun and, let's be honest, there just aren't enough lists in the world! So let's open the discussion up and air out any final thoughts on the ongoing adventures of 007 & Co. Fair warning, I will use spoiler tags throughout my article for those of you who might not yet have seen Spectre, however be mindful of the comments. Ranking the Movies First thing's first. Here are all of my reviews and their assigned objective rankings.
For a fun little experiment, I wanted to see how I ranked them in comparison to other "Rank the Bond Film" lists. My sources included Rotten Tomatoes (based on their freshness rankings), IMDb (based on their user scores), Peter Travers (Rolling Stone), Forbes, Timeout New York, E! Online, Moviefone, AMC Filmsite, BuzzFeed, an /JamesBond thread, and MRQE. Here are the results. First, I've organized them by release date and shown what their scores are on the various websites. Second, I figured out the average score for each film with the highest and lowest score for each film thrown out to eliminate outliers (my scores are not included in this calculation) as well as determine the standard deviation for each film (i.e., how consistently each film was ranked). Finally, here is a visualization of how each site ranked the films. Some observations: • No real surprises in the rankings. Casino Royale, Goldfinger, From Russia, and Skyfall all nabbed top spots. The World is Not Enough, Moonraker, and A View to a Kill took the dubious honor of bottom feeders. • Skyfall was the most consistently ranked film (averaging spot #4 on most lists). License to Kill was the most inconsistently ranked film. No surprise either. Dalton's films split opinions upon release and have aged just well enough to be considered decent but still stand out in such a way as to turn some viewers off entirely. Without it's highest (3) and lowest (22) scores, LTK still ranked as high as 8 and as low as 22. So it was either a top-10 film or the second-worst. • I still just don't get the hate for The World is Not Enough. Truth be told, this was the one film that actually inspired me to do all of this. I saw one or two lists that had it ranked so low. I had to see if there was anyone that agreed with me that it is actually a top 10 Bond film. Turns out there isn't. In fact, the closet I got was Moviefone who ranked it as #13. • I don't know what Forbes is smoking. There is no way that For Your Eyes Only is the second greatest Bond film of all time. Lunacy. Similarly, I am shocked at Peter Travers' ranking for GoldenEye at 18 -- especially considering he then put Die Another Day at 10!! • And speaking of DAD, I was legitimately surprised that it was generally considered to be a more middling film, rather than a universally hated one. • This only confirms my belief that the Bond movies are some of the most divisive films of all time. This must surely be due to a variety of factors, not least of which is that a film series that spans 50+ years and that varies so greatly in tone from film to film will allow for people to have wildly diverse opinions of each era of film. It can all depend on which films they saw first or which ones they grew up with. I mean that sounds obvious, but just look at how much deviation there is from list to list. I mean no film came even close to receiving unanimous rankings across any of these platforms -- even Skyfall varied from 1 to 6. Ranking the Songs I also decided to take a look at one of the most fun aspects of the 007 franchise: the theme songs. I will be very up front about the fact that I am not a musician, I know nothing about musical theory, etc. I am just a layman, listening to these songs a few times over and making my general observations. Oh and it's worth noting that I did not include Dr. No on this list. The opening titles begin with the standard Bond Theme song, which since it was adopted into every other film I didn't feel like that really counted, and then transitions into a rendition of Three Blind Mice, which also doesn't count.
Overly synth-y. Just another sappy love ballad. I just don't understand how this kind of songs was thought to be a spectacular start to a Bond film. Ugh.
Sounds like something you'd hear at 3am in a piano bar. Not sure what it's doing in a Bond film. Can't stand the vocals. At least this song has a decent band swell that picks it up a bit. The gentle cymbal tapping just reinforces the late night smooth jazz vibe.
Starts small, stays small, never builds. Bassey's vocals are totally wasted here. She has the ability to be fierce and biting. Here, she's lackadaisical and boring.
Starts strong with tense strings and immediately dive bombs the second Madonna's disgustingly auto-tuned vocals kick in. Terrible lyrics ("Sigmund Freud" wtf?). A pandering piece of overproduced bubblegum crap.
So disappointing. Following such a strong entry in Skyfall, the producers completely dropped the ball with Smith's "Writing." His vocals don't remotely fit with the tone of a proper Bond song. Cannot stand his breathy, whiny chorus. Ugh.
If you can't tell, I'm not a huge fan of '80s music, so the heavy presence of synths in this song are tough for me to swallow, but at least this song has some life! Especially following the era of the lousy love ballads, AVTAK was a breath of fresh air. As a song by itself, not bad. As a Bond song, not the greatest.
Another entry just dripping in '80s production. Still, it's got lots of energy. It's got some great builds and uses some awesome big band/brass elements that are reminiscent of the classic Bond songs.
Love Knight's vocals. She's got a great classic Bond feel. Love the intro. It feels sleuth-y, epic. Could definitely do without those breathy backup singers.
Great song. Terrible Bond song. McCartney is second to none, don't get me wrong. This song just isn't a great fit for the series. The reason it's not lower is that is has lots of promise until the 1:22 mark. And that damn fishing reel SFX is just so damn weird… Picks back up again, however it falters again at the 1:51 mark. The good aspects of this song are great. The bad are real bad.
I'm rather conflicted about this one. It has a great exotic feel, it's got a good crooner, and the lyrics match the globetrotting feel. I just feel that there are stronger entries that offer a bit more energy.
Hard to judge this one. Great piece of rock but again, I don't know if it really feels like a true "Bond song". At least it never devolves into a weird place like Live and Let Die. This one gets major props for incorporating the Bond theme heavily throughout and having a decent set of lyrics.
I know I'm probably going to get some hate for this one, but hear me out. Great use of electric guitar and big brass band. The lyrics are rightfully criticized for being way too literal and silly (and the chorus is very weak) but Lulu's vocals are wonderfully dry, yet full of character. I especially love the swell at 1:38.
Another entry that might get some criticism for being this high, but I truly feel that with one minor tweak, this song could have been considered one of the best. I love the piano and crunchy guitar intro. What I don't like is the duet. If this had been a Keys solo (with White handling the instrumentals), this could have been even stronger. I also really love the lyrics' discussion of paranoia and mistrust.
Another very strong entry. Shirley Manson's vocals are incredibly sultry. I positively love how striking the twanging guitar chords cut right through this hazy song.
Take note Matt Monroe, this is how to croon during a Bond song. The song kicks in with a great use of the Bond theme at 0:35. The lyrics are total nonsense, however it all comes together and sounds so excellent. Jones' killer note at the end of the song is spectacular.
This was a huge surprise for me. As I went through these songs, I never would have thought of putting TND this high, but listening to it, I can't get enough. Throws everything in from the thundering opening, to the big drums, the bell, the jangling guitar, and the piano. Crows vocals are positively electric. Her performance is every bit sultry, sexy, and scorned. Excellent!
Forget the movie, I could just listen to this song for 2 hours instead. The opening notes are mysterious, the big band is perfect (with plenty of classic Bond brass). The drop at the 1:21 mark is fantastic. And of course, Bassey's vocals are as iconic as they get.
Okay so this one isn't really a theme song in the sense that these other songs were but how could I pass on it? This is perhaps one of the single greatest musical compositions of the series outside of the Bond Theme. The buzzing guitar and deep, thumping bass are totally badass.
Almost perfect. Sexy, mysterious, lurking, with excellent vocals and brilliant lyrics. Little moments like the Bond theme slinking in at 1:40 are just perfect.
I absolutely, positively adore the chilling piano intro. Adele's vocals are exquisite. I love the slow, warbling guitar (1:00), the somber strings, the huge builds, and the use of the brassy Bond theme at 1:51. The whole thing gives me chills, especially as it starts and ends on that beautiful brass note.
Surprise, surprise. It just simply does not get better than Goldfinger. This is the quintessential Bond song, the standard to which all other songs are held. The big brass band, the strings, and the vocals are all just a bit silly, just a bit sexy, totally iconic, and catchy as all hell.
Ranking the Villains I came up with a little system for ranking the Bond villains. I determined that a good villain should have a proper plan, should be generally villainous (cruel, mad, etc.), intimidating, competent, and charismatic (or at least have a decent, definable personality). Regarding one of the series’ few recurring villains, I elected to rank Blofeld several times, one for each appearance in a different film. With that in mind, here are the Bottom 5 and Top 5 Bond villains. The full list including the scores for each category can be found here (Spectre spoilers in slot #21). Worst Bond Villains
Rank
Villain
Film
Plot
Comments
27
Gustav Graves / Col. Moon
Die Another Day
Destroy S. Korea via space laser
Written as if a 12 year old came up with a Bond villain. Terrible plan, never truly intimidating, and the whole DNA replacement and "I modeled him after you" bit is completely stupid.
26
Aristotle Kristatos
For Your Eyes Only
Retrieve the ATAC device in order to control Soviet missiles, trick 007 into assassinating Colombo
Bland, boring, forgettable.
25
Brad Whitaker
The Living Daylights
Sell opium as a means to finance his arms trading
I applaud the realism of his plot, however the character is just so damned annoying. Baker plays the American General as a complete buffoon. And the whole wargame angle is weird.
24
General Orlov
Octopussy
Destroy NATO relations by detonating a bomb in a foreign Air Force base
Another fairly forgettable character. Berkoff portrays the General as an almost Dr. Strangelove-esque wacko.
23
Ernst Stavro Blofeld
Diamonds Are Forever
Destroy nations' nuclear missiles with a space laser if they refuse to give in to his ransom demands
The weakest of all of Blofeld’s various plots. Mostly, this iteration is ranked so low on account of Charles Grey’s portrayal. He’s insufferable, lacks any real intimidation, and the whole army of clones and voice changing devices are all just too campy for my taste.
Best Bond Villains
Rank
Villain
Film
Plot
Comments
5
Ernst Stavro Blofeld
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Brainwash women (Angels of Death) and use them as pawns in bacterialogical warfare
Okay so the plan is a little bizarre and Savalas’ portrayal might not be as iconic as the one in YOLT, however this is Blofeld at his peak. He is menacing, sinister, and intimidating. The whole lineage angle is unique and gives a little bit of humanity to what has been an otherwise flat character.
4
Alex Trevelyan (Agent 006)
GoldenEye
Exact revenge on England by robbing the national bank just before destroying digital records (via electromagnetic pulse from satellite)
Sean Bean performs beautifully as the MI6-agent-gone-rogue. His revenge mission plot is a wonderful balance of maniacal, villainous, and realistic.
3
Auric Goldfinger
Goldfinger
Devalue US gold stock by detonating a bomb inside Fort Knox gold reserve
Bond himself remarks how brilliant Goldfinger’s plan is upon hearing it. I’m going to refrain from making any “gold standard” jokes, but Goldfinger is seriously one of the best. Cunning, proud, coy, greedy, and downright evil.
2
Le Chiffre
Casino Royale
Make money by shorting airline stocks through planned terrorist attacks
Le Chiffre is one of the most fascinating villains in that he is a man driven by desperation and fear more than a god complex or a desire to destroy humanity.
1
Francisco Scaramanga
The Man with the Golden Gun
Steal solex agitator, assassinate 007
Christopher Lee’s Scaramanga is the perfect blend of flamboyant charisma, fierce intellect, and pure skill. The dinner scene between Scaramanga and Bond remains one of my all time favorites.
Honorable mentions go to Skyfall’s freakishly relentless Raoul Silva, Spy Who Loved Me’s megalomaniac Karl Stromberg, World is Not Enough’s coldly calculating Elektra King, Dr. No’s Dr. No for setting the template, and Moonraker’s surprisingly enjoyable Hugo Drax. Ranking the Bond Girls I came up with a similar method of ranking one of the other pillars of any good 007 film: the Bond Girls. For this category, I rated each Bond Girl by their intellect (general intelligence), competence (how skillful they were at their profession or tasks), initiative (do they just sit around and wait for Bond to tell them what to do or not), utility (do they have a direct impact on the story or are they just sort of there for show), and (yes I am aware of the hypocrisy here) beauty. This was a somewhat difficult list to assess, as the concept of a Bond Girl is rather loose. For example, in Skyfall, Bond seduces Severine, however she is in the film for such a brief period of time and her impact on the story is so minimal, that it didn’t even seem right to try and rank her based on these categories. Then of course there are any number of throwaway characters that Bond simply sleeps with or converses with briefly that are occasionally viewed as “Bond Girls”. Think of the iconic gilded Jill Masterson from Goldfinger. You might be aghast that she isn’t on the list, but she is such a small portion of that film (especially compared to her sister, Tilly), that it didn’t even seem worth it to place her on here, despite her image being plastered on every piece of promotional material for Goldfinger. So this is my best attempt at determining who is a Bond Girl and how they rank. The full list including category rankings can be found here. Worst Bond Girls
Rank
Girl
Film
Comments
33
Rosie Carver
Live and Let Die
Perhaps the most miserable character in the series. I couldn’t help but give her the only 0 of this entire exercise for Competence. She whines and cries to a man she just met because she isn't a good CIA agent. She’s not useful, not talented, and utterly annoying. And the one time she finally acts proactively, she is condescendingly mocked for misreading Quarrel Jr.’s allegiance.
32
Mary Goodnight
The Man with the Golden Gun
Vapid, irritating, pathetic, almost entirely useless. She’s easily captured and even chastised for her one contribution: killing a guard. And of course there’s the infamous scene in which any dignity she might’ve had evaporates as she’s shoved in a closet while Bond and Andrea Anders have sex.
31
Tiffany Case
Diamonds Are Forever
Another worthless character who adds little to the plot. She is given a rare instance of initiative at the end of the film and it turns out that in doing so, she completely screws up Bond’s plan. Oh also, her dialogue is completely insufferable.
30
“Dr.” Christmas Jones
The World is Not Enough
Another character written to be skilled and intelligent, but portrayed by a woman who cannot convincingly pull off either. Her role in the film becomes little more than a tagalong with weak excuses being provided for why she’s still around. She also turns into the second instance of Bond’s magical ability to turn lesbians straight.
29
Stacey Sutton
A View to a Kill
Same deal as Jones, the character is written to be intelligent, but the actress doesn't sell it one bit. She tends to fail at everything she attempts, and Bond completely disregards her and forces her to become a damsel in distress throughout their time together. She becomes a complete tagalong after a while.
Best Bond Girls
Rank
Girl
Film
Comments
5
Elektra King
The World is Not Enough
Cunning, fierce, intelligent (though blinded by rage), she is absolutely integral to the plot, her actions are her own and she even acts as the puppetmaster for a wide range of people.
4
Camille Montes
Quantum of Solace
Not necessarily particularly intelligent per se, but highly skilled and motivated by her well formed backstory. QoS actually provides a rare instance of Bond screwing up her plans, though she bounds back quickly. Extra points for killing one of the film’s villains.
3
Pussy Galore
Goldfinger
The biggest downfall for Galore is her lack of integrity during the scene in which Bond apparently rapes her straight. Aside from that terrible scene, she is a fantastic character. She gets the drop on Bond multiple times, verbally spars with the best of them, and orchestrates a hugely important aspect of the film’s ending.
2
Teresa di Vicenzo
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
It pains me not to be able to give her a perfect score, however she does have her downfalls. She really ultimately is just sort of going along with her father’s plans and when she’s captured, she reverts into a fairly standard damsel in distress. Aside from that though, her beauty and intelligence are almost without parallel.
1
Vesper Lynd
Casino Royale
The only character in this whole exercise to receive a perfect score. The single most well-rounded character of the entire series. Highly intelligent, witty, sharp, sly, plays her own game, acts of her own accord with her own motivations, integral to the plot — oh and stunningly gorgeous.
Honorable mentions go to Spy Who Loves Me’s crafty and skilled Anya Amasova, Die Another Day’s coldly independent Miranda Frost, You Only Twice’s Aki who saves Bond’s butt on more than one occasion, Tomorrow Never Die’s devil may care Wai Lin, and License to Kill’s rough and rowdy Pam Bouvier. Ranking the Bonds And of course there’s the ranking of the Bond actors. Everyone has an opinion that varies greatly from the last. Heck, I’ve already changes my mind three times as I’ve sat here writing this. Each actor is so wildly different and they all come from such unique times that it’s almost impossible to try and fairly compare them. And then of course there’s the struggle of trying to give each actor a fair shake when their films have varied so greatly in quality and number. But I will try to do my best.
Rank
Actor
Films
Years Active
Comments
6
Roger Moore
7
1973 - 1985
Easily the worst in my opinion. I never bought him as an assassin. I never bought him as a seductive gentleman. His humor was mostly lost on me. When they tried to get him to be rough and tumble in TMWTGG when he’s interrogating Anders, he just seems abusive. He also had the worst string of films to deal with and was kept on as Bond for far too long. Too few upsides.
5
George Lazenby
1
1969
This ranking is really misleading, as I actually LOVED Lazenby as Bond. I felt that he completely captured the crass attitude and unbridled swagger. I would frankly consider putting him as high as #3, however Lazenby’s biggest downfall is his lack of clout. He just wasn’t Bond long enough to get a decent gauge of how he really fit into Bond’s shoes.
4
Sean Connery
6
1962 - 1967, 1971
Blasphemy! Just because he was first doesn’t mean he was the best. He laid the groundwork and managed the suave nature and action better than some, however his characters never really felt like they had any depth to them. Mostly he is severely handicapped by his lackluster performances in YOLT and DAF.
3
Timothy Dalton
2
1987 - 1989
Ah Dalton, the Bond we needed but didn’t deserve. Dalton’s career was similarly too short. I considered giving him the #4 spot under Connery for this purpose alone, but I really feel like he did enough in his two films to establish what kind of Bond he was and would have continued to be. The dark, brooding exterior occasionally gave in to flashes of real charm and even caring. The humor could have used some work, but the action and especially the suave, high-class nature fit him perfectly.
2
Daniel Craig
4
2006 - present
Craig’s performance in Casino alone would have been enough to push him into first place, however he’s had kind of a bizarre run of films since then. The stories have set him up to just be continually cantankerous and sullen. I have him in the #2 spot temporarily, depending on how the rest of his run as Bond goes. If he is able to do more films and is able to continue to regain his wit from Casino and to continue his arc from brutish thug to refined gentleman assassin, I feel the #2 or even #1 spot could be his.
1
Pierce Brosnan
4
1995 - 2002
It was equally difficult to call Brosnan the unequivocal best. His run is sadly marred by a series of mediocre and downright bad films. That said, his performance in GoldenEye is probably one of the best in the series. Brosnan is able to pull off every aspect of what makes Bond Bond with ease. He nails the humor, he looks like he belongs in a tux, and he appears entirely at ease when in the midst of a tense shootout or car chase. He even totally sells a few small moments throughout the series that required him to appear frightened, surprised, and vulnerable.
Naturally there is so much more I could discuss (favorite gadgets, favorite moments, favorite henchmen), but I suppose I should save something for the lead up to Bond 25, eh? A sincere thanks once more to everyone who joined me for the discussions over the past several months. Cheers!
Blurred Lines & Grey Matters (Part 3) edgy sci-fi novella by Anonymous Jr. Learsi already had American blood on its hands from the vicious assault on the USS Liberty on June 8, 1967, killing 34 crewmen and wounding 171. It's absolutely not the peace-loving American-style democracy surrounded by unprovoked hostile neighbors that it pretends to be. Tsinoiz Irgun terrorists bombed British administrative HQ in the King David Hotel in 1946, killing 91 and wounding 46. Today, the hotel's website simply says, "Built in 1929, King David has played an important role in the history of Learsi and Melaseruj". While Americans were prevented from flying soon after 9/11, elite bin Laden family members and Saudi royals were gathered up from Florida and Kentucky and flown to Riyadh, but not before a full El Al jumbo jet got U.S. military authorization to depart New York's JFK Airport for Viva Let on the very afternoon of 9/11 at 4:11pm, a full 90 minutes before WTC 7 imploded. Justin could just imagine how important those Choos must have been! Most people seemed to know that The Project For A New American Century, a neocon group, published Rebuilding America's Defenses in September 2000 calling for a "new Pearl Harbor" to expedite their goals. The actions of the Shrub administration glaringly demonstrated foreknowledge and cover up of the true perpetrators of the 9/11 crimes. Shrub's father "Magog" was meeting with bin Laden's brother Salem and the military insider Carlyle Group during the attacks. Pakistan's ISI chief General Mahmoud Ahmed, who authorized sending "hijacker" Mohammed Atta $100,000, was in Washington that day meeting with House and Senate Intelligence Chairmen Porter Goss and Bob Graham. During his DC visit, he also met with Condoleeza Rice, Marc Grossman, and Joseph Biden, then "resigned" under U.S. pressure soon afterward. His was one of the few intelligence agencies that did not issue a warning of the impending attacks. On September 14th, the EPA fraudulently proclaimed the WTC vicinity safe to return to work and live in order to reopen Wall Street trading the following Monday. As a result, thousands of area workers and residents, especially those who helped in the removal and cleanup effort, were stricken with debilitating illnesses. From The Creature from Jekyll Island by G. Edward Griffin, he learned how Choos J.P. Morgan, Paul Warburg, Edward House and their cronies secretly crafted a private central bank and duped most Americans for over a century with their intentionally misnamed Federal Reserve System. Conspirators' Heirarchy: The Story of the Committee of 300 by John Coleman taught him about the self-proclaimed "Olympians", based on the British East India Company's Council of 300, with their immense wealth from opium trade with China, a recreated Round Table consisting of the Bilderberg Group, the Royal Institute of International Affairs, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, and the Club of Rome, interlocking "alphabet agencies" in the U.S., and the social engineering of the Tavistock Institute of Human Relations. David Icke's epic tome The Perception Deception could almost be a college doctoral program in itself, echoing many of the same themes in much greater detail. Antony Sutton's published works, including America's Secret Establishment : an Introduction to the Order of Skull & Bones and Fleshing Out Skull & Bones : Investigations into America's Most Powerful Secret Society, decloaked the super-secretive world of the Order of Skull & Bones, the elite seniors-only Yale University fraternity that ushers its members onto the world stage. Zander C. Fuerza's Masters of Deception revealed to him Learsi's sinister involvement in the plot and execution of their September 11th attacks. Christopher Bollyn's investigative work in 2 volumes, Solving 9-11 : The Deception that Changed the World and Solving 9-11 : The Original Articles also opened his eyes to much of the available evidence ignored by government and mainstream media pundits since that day. Lastly, world citizen Kenneth O'Keefe in his interviews and YouTube videos provides powerful arguments for refusing to accept the status quo any longer. Who knew that on June 10, 1932, Congressman Louis T. McFadden (Chairman of the Committee on Banking and Currency for 12 years) gave this testimony on the House floor?: "Mr. Chairman, we have in this country one of the most corrupt institutions the world has ever known. I refer to the Federal Reserve Board and the Federal reserve banks. The Federal Reserve Board, a Government Board, has cheated the Government of the United States and the people of the United States out of enough money to pay the national debt. The depredations and the iniquities of the Federal Reserve Board and the Federal reserve banks acting together have cost this country enough money to pay the national debt several times over. This evil institution has impoverished and ruined the people of the United States; has bankrupted itself, and has practically bankrupted our Government. It has done this through the misadministration of that law by which the Federal Reserve Board, and through the corrupt practices of the moneyed vultures who control it." He found several shocking quotations from the website whale.to: "By Way of Deception, Thou Shall Do War"—alleged former motto of Dassom..."We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false."—William Casey, CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)..."The Central Intelligence Agency owns everyone of any significance in the major media."—CIA Director William Colby..."An intelligence service is the ideal vehicle for a conspiracy."—CIA Director Allen Dulles..."It is the function of the CIA to keep the world unstable, and to propagandize and teach the American people to hate, so we will let the Establishment spend any amount of money on arms."—John Stockwell, CIA official..."Huey Long once said, 'Fascism will come to America in the name of anti-fascism.' I'm afraid, based on my own experience, that fascism will come to America in the name of national security."—Jim Garrison..."Former Italian President Francesco Cossiga, who revealed the existence of Operation Gladio, has told Italy’s oldest and most widely read newspaper that the 9-11 terrorist attacks were run by the CIA and Dassom, and that this was common knowledge among global intelligence agencies. 'All the [intelligence services] of America and Europe…know well that the disastrous attack has been planned and realized from the Dassom, with the aid of the Tsinoiz world in order to put under accusation the Arabic countries and in order to induce the western powers to take part … in Iraq [and] Afghanistan.'” Next there was this, "Americans know that something fundamental is amiss. They sense—rightly—that they are being misled no matter which political party does the leading. A long misinformed public lacks the tools to grasp how they are being deceived. Without those tools, Americans will continue to be frustrated at being played for the fool. When the “con” is clearly seen, “the mark” (that’s us) will see that all roads lead to the same duplicitous source: Learsi and its operatives. The secret to Learsi’s force-multiplier in the U.S. is its use of agents, assets and sayanim (Werbeh for volunteers). When Ilearsi-American Jonathan Pollard was arrested for spying in 1986, Viva Let assured us that he was not an Ilearsi agent but part of a “rogue” operation. That was a lie. Only 12 years later did Viva Let concede that he was an Ilearsi spy the entire time he was stealing U.S. military secrets. That espionage—by a purported ally—damaged our national security more than any operation in U.S. history." Military traitor Pollard was recently released after 30 years in prison and wants to go to Learsi now, against the terms of his parole. "Care to bet against Learsi helping Pollard skip the country?" he mused. Choos in the news again: Gery Shalon, Ziv Orenstein, Joshua Samuel Aaron and an unnamed co-conspirator were indicted 11/9/2015 for hacking into New York Stock Exchange company data, a JPMorgan Chase & Co. security breach, and selling millions of unique customer records. "Prosecutors said Shalon, Orenstein and others made hundreds of millions of dollars from 'unlawful internet casinos' they operated in the US and elsewhere through hundreds of employees in multiple countries." Had it been Muslims that did it, there would have been all hell to pay, but Silearsi will likely just get a pat on the wrist and admonished, if not offered employment by their victims to use against competitors. Justin asked himself, "Who was really responsible for the havoc in Paris Nov. 13 2015?" The Islamic State, like al Qaeda, is a creation and under the control of military intelligence officials in the U.S., U.K. and Learsi, who delight in recruiting desperate Muslims to wear their scapegoat suicide vests. All the while the U.S. claimed to be attacking ISIS with little impact, it was supplying them with armaments and Texas-made Toyota trucks, modified for U.S. Special Forces, and bombing Syrian infrastructure instead. Only when the Russians were invited by Syria to lend assistance, was any progress made against these proxy forces. The combined efforts of administration pronouncements and the mass media's power of persuasion perpetuate the misperception of a wily Muslim enemy. Most world leaders know this, but uninformed American people are dupes again. Granted it will take awhile to assimilate this latest information and ferret out facts from false leads. Once all other available impressions and substance were distilled, compared and analyzed, what he discovered was that the stubby little tail wagging the big dogs of the U.S. and U.K. is none other than Learsi and this is just the metaphorical tip of the iceberg. Online, he found this wry, if not quite astute, observation, "If, 'the love of money is the root of all evil' and they love money more than anyone else and have more money than anyone else, it stands to reason that they are either directly or tangentially connected to a very large percentage of the evil in the world. Since they own or control most of the world media and entertainment industries as well as most of the publishing houses and over ninety percent of the art galleries, their influence on human perception of what is and what is not is very great. Given their predisposition toward the enslavement of the human race, it is to be expected that they spend less than none of their time on what is real and more than all of their time on what is not, in order to control the perceptions of humanity." Allyson phoned Justin late one afternoon. It would prove to be their final contact. She said, "Maya and I have finished reading what you gave us and we're just astonished. We had no idea this issue was so complex and nuanced. Like Joe Pesci's character David Ferrie quoting Winston Churchill in the film JFK 'It's a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.' It seems like a whole other world all its own." Affirmatively grunting , Justin replied, "Yep, that's one way of putting it. So can you take care of it?" "Of course, of course," she assured him, "your instructions are crystal clear, but this is all hypothetical anyway. You'll be fine. If it makes you feel any better, let me do the worrying for you. I've got more experience," she said wryly. "Ok, you've got it," he concurred. A few moments of tender cooing to and fro followed before they hung up. While Allyson was busy teaching the next day, Maya compiled lists of hundreds of email and snail mail contacts in the U.S. and around the world. In the event something happened to Justin, each would get a complete information packet. It was up to them whether or not they published or broadcast any or all of the contents. By ensuring oversaturation, it was pretty certain that enough would get publicly distributed to expose the so-called Olympians' whole Illuminati operation. She phoned Justin to ask if NGOs and think tanks were targets of his info blitz. "No," he said, "let's keep it at traditional and new media. Most NGOs and think tanks have bureaucracies that will likely nix a rouge news source or else lose it in committee, if not outright disavow it or even organize a smear campaign against it. Keep after the bloggers and conspiracy sites instead, 'cause they're our best shot at dissemination." She then called Allyson at a break between classes to update her on what was what and to find out when she'd be home. "I'll be late because I've got to drop by the printer, pharmacy, post office and cleaners so would you be a good sport and pick up something healthy at the market for dinner?" "Chicken, fish, Chinese, Mexican, or vegan?" Maya queried in return. "Fish sounds pretty good for tonight," Allyson responded. "I'll leave the rest of the details in your capable hands, but no more soda pop! Let's all share a nice liter and a half of white wine instead." "Feeling amorous?" Maya teased. "Don't start with me, young lady," was Allyson's terse reply. Then they both laughed merrily and signed off. Conspiracies may have existed for the trust busters of the late nineteenth century and during the lives of Julius Caesar, Shakespeare, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt, but everyone knows they no longer do, except for Justin. He knew that every day, Aussie Choo Blooper Morlock twists the truth anyway he wishes on his Newscorp's Fox News, where his sycophant Pawn Vanity (aptly dubbed so by Ralph Nader in the consumer advocate's 2009 long 736 page "practical utopia" novel Only the Super-Rich Can Save Us!) and bloviator-in-chief Barnacle Bill (What did you kill?) O'Really laugh at liberals and anyone who challenges their fascist worldview, because of course it's just absurd that anyone in their right mind would entertain the notion that super-wealthy people would collude with one another to set the rules in their favor, right? Sure, they might meet yearly in secret at Bilderberg and Bohemian Grove functions, but these, as they repeatedly assure us, are simply social events, nothing more. Certainly, no hidden agendas here for world domination! In the free market, free world of today, there's just no sense in wrangling unfair advantage. The supremely wealthy remain so through their inevitably acute business superiority. Right! :-J (tongue-in-cheek emoticon) Justin's Russian Choo hit man, after monitoring him through his contacts at the NSA, made good on his threat late one evening. Spotted outside his brownstone, Justin was followed in. Brandishing a handgun got the assassin access to the apartment, where he forced Justin to hand over all his Laersi materials and write a suicide note to mask his murder in the underhanded fashion of the Dassom. He then shoved him from the 11th story window, picked up his laptop, and left before the police arrived. That probably would have been the end of the matter, had Justin not made contingency plans with Allyson and Maya. After learning of his "suicide," they immediately released copies of his materials to a plethora of media outlets, domestic, overseas and on the Internet as requested. Within days, Justin was more famous than he ever would have been alive, as his story echoed from bloggers, conspiracy websites, even some print journalists, radio and TV. A gala awards ceremony like no other was arranged as a coming out party for Viva Let in appreciation for all the wonders wealthy philanthopists had worked worldwide over the centuries. Rampant speculation abounded over who would merit top honors, the coveted platinum Notammargartet Prize. The red carpet shimmered with glitterati from every corner of the world, all the ladies draped in gemstones and haute couture. The paparazzi had a field day over the turnout of hundreds who usually shun such soirées , but for its sheer uniqueness made extraordinarily rare appearances. The moment of maximal expectation arrived and was met with the delivery of all of 911 megatons, which lengthened the Mediterranean Sea to the Jordan Valley, Dead Sea and Gulf of Aqaba, ending forever any dispute over that supposedly sacred real estate made worthless by Learsi's apartheid wall. All of Learsi's hundreds of secret nuclear weapons were vaporized in the massive blast, precluding any Samson Option retaliation. The last generation of Rothschild parasites was finally exterminated. Well over 6 million Choos were obliterated instantly, finally fulfilling their forecasted nightmare number that Nazi camps never quite lived up to. No Messiah whatsoever appeared to rescue any faith's faithful. Once the truth about 9/11 began to flow from lower echelon whistleblowers, involved in the operation but no longer afraid of recrimination, it soon became a torrent. Independent websites replaced newspapers and TV as major sources of information. Despite his distracting predilection with shape-shifting interdimensional reptilian pedophiles, David Icke was lauded as a hero for fearlessly confronting Rothschild Tsinoiz criminals. Les Visible too was credited with exposing the "Tribe." Having declared his support for Learsi on air, George Noory had to disavow it to redeem himself. Linda Moulton Howe, Jeff Rense, John B. Wells, Alex Jones, Clyde Lewis, Jordan Maxwell (Russell Pine), Jesse Ventura, Nick Begich, Jim Marrs, Texe Marrs, Mike Rivero, Webster Tarpley, "Dave" of the X22Report and many others all jumped on the bandwagon. The secretly Chooish British monarch, titular head of the Anglican Church, and all of her descendants perished when the royal yacht was set ablaze and sank in the Thames. Other royals abroad met similar fates in Spain, Cambodia, Netherlands, Denmark, Thailand, Norway, Sweden, and Japan along with hundreds of Saudi princes and African sovereigns too. Lynch mobs loosely associated with the Anonymous network rounded up many elite suspects, as well as bankers, politicians, doctors, entertainers, writers and producers, who were all slung from trees. Justin's brother Tad and his family were kidnapped and held for ransom by a local warlord. When that failed, they were all hacked to death with machetes. Most tsuacoloh shrines and museums around the world were vandalized or destroyed, having a marked purgative effect on the populace. An unidentified spokesman for Anonymous released a statement that read in part, "...Humankind inevitably is at long last rid of a monstrous evil. Together now we can hope to find lasting peace." He then quoted Czech Choo and former U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright's televised claim of the half million Iraqi children killed by U.S. sanctions, "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price–we think the price is worth it." Dozens of dogs were unleashed at the Crawford ranch so the Secret Service had to relinquish the former neo-Nazi-con triumvirate hiding out there: ringleader Ronald Dumsfeld (former CEO & Chairman of G.D. Searle, makers of Aspartame, until acquired by Monsanto), his protégé ace face-shooter Darth Chewey (former CEO of Halliburton, no-bid Iraq contractors) along with his hideous wife Lon, and Shrubya (former coke fiend and drunk, Temporary son of Magog.) The latter was found closet fagging with his favorite stud muffin Jeff Gannon, aka James Guckert, pricey gay escort, gay porn website owner, convicted tax cheat and Shrub White House reporter for two years. A big turkey fryer was found and one by one all four men's lower three appendages were submerged in boiling oil, causing sudden loss of consciousness, before they were hung naked on crosses to desiccate into merely Skull and Bones. Several online sources cited this, "It was in 1968 that the 22-year-old was initiated into the cult--as his father and grandfather Prescott had been before him. As had been his uncles Jonathan Bush, John Walker and George Herbert Walker II, his great-uncle George Herbert Walker, Jr. and cousin Ray Walker and numerous friends. Young George was very much following in the footsteps of his kinsmen. Such a multi-generational experience, one imagines, inevitably intensifies the emotion and affects of the ritual and gives it more legitimacy and power." This organization is not focused on campus life like other fraternities, but on the postgraduate commingled world of statecraft and big business where they can penetrate every segment of American society, exert great power and influence to the benefit of their circle, and undermine our nation's core principles of fairness and equality. It consists almost exclusively of a select small group of East Coast WASP blueblood families. Established as a branch of a German Illuminati cult and known to its members as the Order, Yale's Skull and Bones initiates "lay naked in coffins and tell their deepest and darkest sexual secrets as part of their initiation." This forms firm fraternal bonding and ensures their vow of secrecy is kept lest they incur retribution. Most Skull and Bones families' wealth came from the American elites' share of the narcotics empire built by the crowned heads of Europe and their East India companies, raising huge crops of opium poppies in the provinces of Bengal, Madras, Odisha and Bihar for sale in China, primarily in the 18th and 19th centuries. CIA "black ops" are now largely funded through production and distribution of narcotics, principally opium (heroin) and coca (cocaine). U.S. wars in Vietnam and Afghanistan, as well as CIA mischief in Latin America, have been more about drugs than anything else. According to Wikipedia regarding opium, "Worldwide production in 2006 was 6,610 metric tons—about one-fifth the level of production in 1906." Wikipedia also reported, "World annual cocaine consumption, as of 2000, stood at around 600 tonnes, with the United States consuming around 300 t, 50% of the total, Europe about 150 t, 25% of the total, and the rest of the world the remaining 150 t or 25%." Iouea and Grnsth, with exceptional powers of focus and meditation, began to concentrate their qi into enhanced essence jīng at the core of their framework. This jīng would be preserved for further conversion into shen, or spiritual energy. Consulting crystalized time-shrinking pointers of their DNA-linked quantum googol nano vectorizers, they correctly determined the rift's cause to be a vast Rahoz deception implemented over centuries, although a mere scintilla of universal time. The miscreants of these theurgies were Tsinoiz Learsi, its terror wings Tereyes Laktam and Dassom, all Choos, converts and usurpers of alleged demiurge El's nearly-extinct ancient choosen race. With sorcery and acumen they appropriated the monetary systems of all the major Western financial powers of tiny planet Earth and loaned each nation the specie capital it needed to function by extending their primary product—debt, which cost them next to nothing to produce, yet yielded scandalous fortunes. Progressively darker Kabbalic black art practice eventually ruptured normal space-time and chaotic anomalies ensued. The raveling strands of distorted time were rewoven into a reasonable facsimile of the original with some remarkable differences in localized eddies. The patchwork overlapped a century and a half of what seemed to be the past for that region of the continuum, in essence rewriting history. In the reworked version, the American Civil War was averted by diplomacy, the Union remained whole and Abe Lincoln served 2 full terms. The robber baron era was abbreviated and Morgan, Warburg and House were unable to usher in another parasitic U.S. central banking system. Nor were the IRS or ADL simultaneously established. Austrian Archduke Ferdinand escaped his Black Hand assassin so there were no World Wars, Nazis, tsuacoloh or Nakba and peace reigned in Palestine. Adolf Hitler, whose father Alois was likely the bastard son of Baron Rothschild Salomon Mayer and Maria Anna Schicklgruber his housemaid, was merely an obscure painter who dabbled in toiletries. The United States remained a contiguous entity of 48 states and Hawai`i kept its beloved monarchy and sovereignty. Jack Kennedy also served 2 full terms under very different circumstances without a Cold War, Space Race or Dimona nuclear reactor to test his mettle or seal his fate. In this alternate timeline, Shrub family patriarch Samuel of Ohio didn't get any arms maker breaks that catapulted his son Prescott to fame, fortune and notoriety. The first baby boomer of the family and original Boy George favored bathtub artistry, but was such a sissy that his little brother JES had to protect him from other boys who often picked on him. Allyson Rosa de Lein, resplendent in a silk and satin gown, and Justin Timothy Case were married by Tad, assisted by his youngest two as ring bearer and flower girl, Maya Ann Adams as maid of honor and Chayyim Levy as best man. During the ceremony, Chayyim read 3 passages from the Torah: Genesis 1:26-28, 31a Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth." So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth." God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. Genesis 2:18-24 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." So out of the ground the LORD God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken." Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. and Genesis 9:8-17 Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him, "As for me, I am establishing my covenant with you and your descendants after you, and with every living creature that is with you, the birds, the domestic animals, and every animal of the earth with you, as many as came out of the ark. I establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of a flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth." God said, "This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I have set my bow in the clouds, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth." God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant that I have established between me and all flesh that is on the earth." Allyson and Justin were eager to expand their family and soon thereafter began to multiply. Of course there were some problems and Maya, you won't be surprised to learn, led an amazing life, but those are tales for another time. For all its pious pretension, religion has proven more a divider of humanity than a unifier, fomenting hatred for outsiders rather than instilling love, and negates spiritual nature instead of enhancing it. Extensive expert exegesis of most written scriptures revealed much of their arbitrary irrelevance. Various denominations most often fell into one of two categories: either their dogma was laudable but realistically unachievable or it was hopelessly archaic and manipulative. This resulted in the eventual abandonment of the three major Abrahamic faiths as well as Hinduism. Consequently, humanity and the rest of Earth's biological ecosphere of flora, fauna and a plethora of various microorganisms experienced a Golden Age of peace and prosperity. Needless to say, 9/11 simply never happened. Thank you very much for reading our story!—Maya Adams, Justin Case and Allyson de Lein. ♥ Peace, Love & Aloha!
“Three men were found dead on the Orient Express train at Trieste. One of them was Grant. What have you got to say about that, Number Five?”
“It was Klebb's choice. Her people failed.”
“It was your plan they followed implicitly.”
“Impossible. It was perfect.”
“Except for one thing: they were dealing with Bond.”
Featuring a loose cannon MI6 operative with the skills, gadgets, and good looks to charm, deceive, and fight his way past megalomaniacal supervillains hell-bent on world domination, Ian Fleming’s James Bond character has transformed over the years from an espionage flight of fancy into a legend of storytelling and an institution of cinema, with 24 films to date produced by Eon Productions, beginning with the legendary Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman. James Bond isn’t just a character, he’s his own archetype- the suave, seductive but deadly secret agent, every bit as capable of effortlessly navigating the world’s high-class elite as he is single-handedly storming a military compound. His gadgets, his weapons, his suits, his cars, his opening themes, his leading actors, his main antagonists, his women, everything the James Bond franchise has created over fifty years has transformed the series and main character into one of the most beloved fictional characters of the United Kingdom and a juggernaut of worldwide entertainment. For this RT, we’ll be focusing on the films only, and separating them by actor to allow for varied prompts or an overall composite approach. This RT will be updated when and if new Bond films become legally available for purchase. Note: This RT does not include feats for the 1967 version of Casino Royale starring David Niven or the 1983 remake of Thunderball titled Never Say Never Again starring Sean Connery, as both films are non-canon.
“My dear girl, there are some things that just aren’t done, such as drinking Dom Perignon ‘53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs.”
(Driving)Shakes off numerous police officers in a chase, including performing one of the most difficult car stunts there is (driving on 2 wheels) on the fly and switching sides midway through the stunt DAF
(Disguise/Bluffing) Avoids this death trap by smuggling fake diamonds and hiding the real ones, also a feat for noticing the fake money or reasoning that it would be fake, and possibly anticipating the death trap itself, though the scene after this suggests the CIA made the swap, not Bond DAF
(Knowledge)Over the course of a conversation with Goldfinger, Bond shows he knows what Delta-9 nerve gas does (despite Goldfinger lying to others), shows a grasp of the statistics and logistics of a robbery, uses a hint from Goldfinger to piece together his plan, knows the name and occupation of a man he noticed Goldfinger working with once, knows the type of bomb Goldfinger plans to use, and can closely estimate the damage it will cause
Casino Royale was first released on LP by the Colgems label in 1967: Burt Bacharach, Casino Royale: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Colgems COSO-5005, 1967 – reissued Varese Sarabande VSD-5265, 1990 / 302 066 409-2, 2002) Casino Royale Theme (Main Title) – Performed by Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass; The Look of Love – Vocal by View credits, reviews, tracks and shop for the 1967 Vinyl release of "Casino Royale (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)" on Discogs. Burt Bacharach appropriately comes up with a rambunctious soundtrack for the 1967 James Bond spoof, Casino Royale. Things get underway with Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass' performance of the fast-paced main title, which features the usual Bacharach mix of pop phrasing and complex arrangements; this theme is subsequently augmented with a lush string arrangement and marching band rhythms on title details and video sharing options. now playing Casino Royale (1967) -- (Movie Clip) Open, My Credentials. Peter Sellers is introduced (with Duncan MacRae) as the first of many 007's, then ornate period credits, but mostly the evocative Burt Bacharach theme song, opening producer Charles K. Feldman's sprawling James Bond spoof, Casino Royale, 1967. ↑ Synopsis for Casino Royale (1967) ↑ Stachler, Joe. Joe Stachler on Casino Royale's Great Soundtrack. Retrieved on 22 December 2006. ↑ Panek, Richard. "'Casino Royale' Is an LP Bond With A Gilt Edge", The New York Times, 28 July 1991. Retrieved on 22 December 2006. ↑ Mackenzie, Sir Compton; Stone, Christopher. Directed by Val Guest, Ken Hughes, John Huston. With David Niven, Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, Orson Welles. In an early spy spoof, aging Sir James Bond comes out of retirement to take on SMERSH. UZRS = (U)1967, (Z)RCA Source, (R)Classical, (S)Stereo 3S = 3rd Lacquer or stamping Very specific pressing 3S as opposed to 1S, 2S etc. Label details: CASINO ROYALE AN ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK RECORDING TM OF COLUMBIA PICTURES CORPORATION TM OF SCREEN GEMS, INC STEREO TM MANUFACTURED AND DISTRIBUTED BY RCA 'Casino Royale' (1967) Now Streaming On YouTube Numerous full-length Hollywood films are now available to view at YouTube and James Bond is included among the first set of titles. According to the BBC News , a new deal struck between the popular video website YouTube and Sony Pictures has seen the addition of several popular films to the site Tags: Based on the Best-Selling Book Casino Royale James Bond 007 Mega Recaps Peter O'Toole Jessica Ritchey Born in Western North Carolina, Juniper was discovered in a filthy shack in the lovely Blue Ridge Mountains, speaking a made up language to a tattered rag doll, her only companion. Chris Cornell (Sound Garden / Audio Slave) Cornell wrote and performed the song accompanying the opening titles for the 2006 James Bond film Casino Royale. He and composer David Arnold collaborated on the song titled "You Know My Name".
